Fade to Black
by JennaLynne
Summary: Set ten years after the events in "Broken Vow" Raised by the Cullens, an inhumanly beautiful clan of vampires, how is a human expected to come to terms with herself? Contains ED themes, may trigger. Book 2 of 3 Completed, 12/12/08
1. Preface

It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it.

Charlotte Bronte - Jane Eyre


	2. My Confession

Author's Note: This is book number two of three. It's told from the perspective of an original character I created back in the first story. Also, it's set eleven years after the first one. If you haven't read the first tale, you could probably figure most things out, but I encourage you to please read the first. Okay, that being said, lets get to the story already!

**Disclaimer:** (Oh how I hate these!) Only Arielle, Paige and the infamous Preston are mine. Everything else is property of the great Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

My closet was huge. Like, pretentiously huge. What normal closet had space for a full length window? Rain splattered against the panes, I counted the droplets, letting the familiar sound of it relax me. With an intake of breath, I looked around, for it was a disaster. My jeans lay in a dirty heap in the rear corner, a pile of sweaters were on the floor by my feet. I'd sworn to myself that one of these days, I'd get around to cleaning it up. I live in, what I like to consider, organized chaos. A sharp contrast to the perfect cleanliness the rest of my family lived in. Unconsciously, I sighed. Regular people didn't have closets that spanned the width of an average sitting room. Regular people didn't have so many outfits they could go a month without doing laundry. Regular sixteen year old girls didn't drive 1957 Jaguar Roadsters, and regular sixteen year old girls got to attend school with other normal humans. I sighed again.

"Pull it together, Paige. No one here knows you. They don't know that you've never been to a real school. So act like you have. What's the big deal?" I muttered the words, desperately trying to convince myself that my life wasn't crazy, that I could be a semi normal person; despite the fact that my parents were insanely, inhumanely beautiful. That everyone in my family, except me, was insanely inhumanely beautiful. I lifted a pair of jeans off the floor, holding them to my face, debating their weariblity.

"Whatever" I muttered. Sliding them over my hips, I turned to the full length mirror on the opposite wall. In a tangled fiery mess, my red hair stuck out at all angles. I dragged a soft wire brush through it, in a desperate, useless, attempt to tame the beast. I'd never considered myself to be pretty. I supposed I was thin, with olive toned skin, piercing green eyes, and an array of freckles dotting my nose, that I hated. My C cup boobs were too big for my body; I was short, only five foot three. The only thing I'd inherited from my mother was my unruly curly red hair; the only part of my appearance that, when it was behaving, I was rather fond of. Finally I'd managed to weave my hair into a long plait, letting it fall down my back. The knock on my door was soft, I barely heard it. But my family had a strange knack for being subtle and sneaking up on me. I barely even jumped this time.

"Sorry." My mom apologized "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"No, you never do." I said on a sigh. "I'm trying to decide what to wear…I can't believe I really get to go to school."

"You went to school when you were little…"

"I don't remember it." I stated adamantly "Besides, this is high school. This is different."

"Paige, this isn't a movie. People don't work the way you think they do. The cheerleaders won't pick on you, and the nerds don't have sinus problems."

"Says the thirty-five year old with a twenty one year old body."

My mother smiled softy. I loved her smile. She had perfect teeth, perfect lips. Perfect, everything. She pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Be yourself, everyone will love you."

I forced a laugh "If you say so."

She kissed me again, her lips were cold. She was always so cold, and gently squeezed my shoulder. "Hey, be careful today, alright?"

I nodded, pulling a tee-shirt off its hanger. Let the nightmare begin.

* * *

I longed to drive with the top down, to feel a cool breeze against my face, to calm my nerves. It was raining, so that wasn't happening. I drove steadily, avoiding puddles. Finding the school itself was easy; there was a big sign marking it just off the highway. The high school was a compilation of sporadically placed buildings. Bella, who swore to me she'd attended Forks High – though I couldn't see how, she didn't look a day over eighteen – had described in vivid detail exactly where I was supposed to go. I'd arrived ridiculously early on purpose, and the lot was completely deserted. I downshifted to first gear, and promptly stalled the car.

"Fuck" I swore loudly, thankful I was long out of my parents' earshot, for they surely would have berated me severely for use of the word. I started the car, more smoothly this time, and slid into a parking space outside the brick building labeled "Administration"

I darted through the rain, my hair didn't need anymore excuses to frizz, and took shelter under the concrete awning. Reaching into my purse, I was pleased, but surprised, to find my recently purchased cigarettes still there. I wondered how they had survived Edward's latest purge. He had an uncanny ability to know when I'd purchased some, to know when I was planning something devious.

I had no real friends outside my family, it became seriously impossible to make any when I couldn't leave my house without everyone knowing. Sneaking out was damn near impossible. Pondering this, I struck the disposable lighter with my thumb, inhaling the first breath, a combination of tobacco and nicotine. And I blew it out, the grayish smoke curled in the air delicately, mixing with the foggy rain, disappeared. I drew the lapels of my jacket closer together, fighting the chill that had suddenly encompassed my body. I flicked the cigarette to the ground, a shower of sparks resulted, and I stamped it out with my foot, turning to go inside.

Behind the towering wooden counter, my eyes met those of a kind-faced heavyset woman. She introduced herself, but in my self centered daze, I wasn't really listening. The fluorescent lights were bright. They marred my skin tone; I didn't like feeling like I looked pale.

"Your name dear?" the woman repeated herself, her eyes still soft.

"Oh erm – Paige. Paige Cullen."

"Cullen? Are you by any chance related to Isabella Cullen?"

"She's my aunt." I said a little too quickly, my thoughts distracted. Bella really had gone here. How strange.

"That's nice" she said wistfully "Bella was quite the popularity queen around here. I'm sure you'll fit right in."

"Um, yeah sure." I responded

The woman, whose name I still didn't know handed me a copy of my schedule, and a map of the grounds. "Have all your teachers sign that paper, and bring it back to me at the end of the day."

I nodded flipping through each one, wondering how I was possibly supposed to make it from building three over to building six in less than three minutes. Absentmindedly I wandered from the building, back to my car. Other students were arriving now, in twos and threes, a steady stream of vehicles heading towards the back of the school. I jumped in my own and joined the procession, realizing that I wasn't supposed to park where I was. I blushed with embarrassment as kids around me pointed at my car, oohing and ahhing ensued, left and right. I rolled my eyes, turning my gaze to the floor.

And I stalled again.

Wordlessly, I started the car again, and joined to procession of cars, parking finally in what I assumed was the student lot. My car was by leaps and bounds, the nicest one there. To my left was a rusted Civic, to my right, a rather sorry looking F150. Stepping hard on the brake, I yanked up the emergency brake to insure my car wouldn't mysteriously roll away during the day.

"Nice car." A deep voice called out from behind me

I turned slowly. The kid was handsome in his own way, his hair a dirty blonde color, his eyes a pretty blue, even if he did have a bit of a chubby face. "Thanks," I finally stuttered and with my thumb, electronically locked it. "It was a present."

"We don't see many cars like that around here."

"Yeah, well, I'm new to this area. I just moved here."

"Oh" he said, as if my answer explained everything "Well, I bet its not too good in the rain."

I glanced around as the rain continued to pound on my head. "It's not that bad."

The boy scowled, but held out his hand. "I'm Dave, by the way. Dave Newton."

"Paige Cullen." I said simply, taking his hand.

"So, what's your first class?" he asked me quietly, leaning over to peer at the stack of papers I had clutched to my chest.

"Pre-Calc" I answered surprised I had remembered.

"Oh. He said simply. You're in honors classes or something?"

I looked at the sodden mass of papers in my hands. "Yeah, I guess."

He looked slightly crestfallen. "Were you always?"

"Always what?" I asked him, becoming rapidly confused.

"In honors classes"

"Well, I never went to real school before. I was home-schooled."

His smile returned. "I could show you around then, if you wanted."

I shrugged. "Sure, I guess." He seemed harmless enough. As I followed Dave to building five, we lapsed into an awkward silence. Eventually, he pointed out a classroom at the opposite end of the corridor.

"It's down there."

"Thanks" I mumbled, anxious to get away from him. I jogged down the hallway, dodging the gazes of my fellow students. Well, this certainly felt like a movie to me. New girl comes to town, and everyone wants a piece of her. I'd be damned if they'd get it.

* * *

The day passed in a daze. I had quite a few classes with Dave, who kept smiling, waving, and winking at me across the room. As I walked into my ninth period class, chemistry, I slid into a seat in the rear of the room, trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to avoid the gazes of other students. A familiar voice filled my ears, relief flooded my system.

"Why'd you leave so early this morning?"

I turned and faced my cousin, who was much more like a sister to me. "I was nervous. I wanted to get out of there."

"Yeah, because you didn't want my dad to find the cigs in your purse…"

"How did you know about those?"

"He knows about them. So, naturally, we all know. Actually, he was fuming this morning. On a bit of a tirade about how Carlisle lets you get away with murder."

"I haven't killed anyone." I joked

"Yet. You keep smoking those damn things, you'll kill yourself."

I rolled my eyes "Save the lecture Nessie, I've heard it before."

She snarled, but cracked open her textbook. "So, how was your first day of high school?"

"Long," I admitted on a sigh.

"Yes, for me as well."

"Ness, I keep getting the feeling we don't belong in a place like this…I just feel like I don't relate well to people."

"You don't understand how they work." She said slowly, finishing my thought as she often did. "I feel the same way. It probably comes from being so isolated for so long, and surrounded by no one but extremely pretty people." She added as an afterthought

"Easy for you to say, you're one of the pretty ones." I mumbled

"Gia," she whispered under her breath, using her nickname for me. "If I've said this once, I've said it a hundred times. You are pretty." She hooked a finger through a curl that had come loose from my braid.

"In your opinion."

"I think, in that kid Dave's too. He's eyeing you across the room like you're a piece of meat."

Instinctively, I giggled. "He's strange."

"He is," she agreed, and opened her mouth to say more, but was silenced when the teacher shot her a dark look.

"I think we should pay attention." I whispered, still laughing.

I rapidly learned that I hated chemistry. Midway through the lesson, I'd managed to add too much Hydrochloric acid to our solution, causing it to bubble over, and only thanks to Renessme's superior reflexes, was she spared from a painful burn. "Sorry." I mouthed to her as we were both ushered to the nurse's office to get checked out. She glared at me, but couldn't maintain the gaze too long, and broke into a smile.

"When my dad finds out about this, he's going to be pissed."

I laughed despite myself. "Stuff like this is the reason I've never been allowed to go to real school."

"No, it's because our parents are way too overprotective. Stuff like this never happens to you."

I laughed again. "Yeah, you're right." And we flopped down on the lumpy leather couch, ready to await whatever punishment the nurse would bestow upon us.

* * *

The rain had begun to taper off as I pulled my car into the driveway. Without stopping to talk to anyone – they'd know I was here anyway- I ran to my room, taking the stairs two at a time. I slept in what had once been the attic, and I loved the rustic-ness of my room. The rafters were high, and I'd draped them in various colored scarves. My bed was pushed against the solitary window, through which a few feeble rays of sunlight were sneaking through. I flopped onto the bed, exhaling loudly. Well, it was over. From the corner of my eye I caught sight of my backpack on the floor where I'd tossed it. Books spilled forth, I had literally a ton of homework. I didn't want to do any of it. Pushing it off, I wandered into my gigantic closet. Again, I caught sight of my reflection in the full length mirror. It was nearly impossible not to. I hated what I saw, more than I hated it earlier that morning. My nose was off center. My ass was too big. I'd never measure up to everyone else. Despite what Renessme had said, I just wasn't pretty enough. But I'd be damned if I wasn't going to try.


	3. Disconnected

My dreams were restless. It was a relief when the dawn began to break; patches of foggy light started to press their way through the open window. I rolled over, the red light of my alarm clock glared back at me. _4:30 am._ I crawled out of bed, and dragged myself lazily across the bedroom, putting my ear to my solid wooden door. All seemed silent. I lifted a pair of shorts off the floor, where I'd strewn them some time ago. I decided the shirt I'd worn to bed was more than adequate, and I didn't even want to think about the state my hair would be in after my night of tossing and turning. Foregoing socks, I slid my feet into my worn sneakers. Using the feeble wisps of light that shined through the window, I spotted my MP3 player on the ground where it had fallen from my backpack yesterday. The headphones sank comfortably into my ears, and I had about two hours of battery left.

"Should be enough." I muttered to myself as I opened my door quietly, praying that no one would hear me.

I raced down the stairs, careful to avoid the third from the bottom, which, as I learned yesterday, creaked. I was at the front door, ready to go, almost home free, when I heard him behind me.

"Where, could you possibly be going at this ungodly hour, Paige?"

Cursing under my breath, I turned around to face the man that I had come to regard as my father.

"Just for a run," I admitted honestly. "I wanted to get one in before school." My eyes went cold, and I spit the question burning my thoughts. "What are YOU doing up?"

"I just got home from the hospital." Carlisle said easily, his face remaining kind. I felt guilty. It was impossible to stay mad at him, especially when the anger was undeserved. "Since when are you into exercise?" he asked with a smile, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. His hands, like my mother's, were cold. Unconsciously, I shivered. Vaguely, I wondered why I'd never noticed before.

I shrugged. "I dunno, I suppose I thought it was time to get into shape."

"I guess that sounds…reasonable." He agreed. "Be careful. It's still dark down by the highway."

I nodded and opened the door, taking the first steps at a run. His words stung me. "Reasonable." Well, that settled it. I needed to lose weight. Sweat began to bead up on my forehead. Tiny white dots covered my ears; as I flipped through play-lists, searching for something that could define my running. Music blasts loudly. My fingers finally came to rest on a Beatles song. Classic rock.

"Yeah, that could work" I thought. So I began my first mile under the influence of Paul McCartney and John Lennon. But the music wouldn't fit my speed; I kept slowing down as the music slowed down. So, I decided I had to pick something else. Spice Girls, Britney Spears, Cristina Aguilera. Tune after tune played, I pushed myself harder. Just a little faster, just a little further. As I entered the freeway, I brushed past another runner; he stared at me, as my red hair flows widely behind me, loose and messy. I smiled and spun my finger over the click-wheel, turning it louder yet. He rushed to keep up with me, but I remain unawares.

It was sunrise now. Although there was no sun, there was enough light forcing its way through the clouds for me to be able to tell. I came to a halt, bracing my hands on my knees, my breathing heavily labored. Without lifting my head, I did my best to glance at my surroundings. I'd gone about a mile down the freeway, heading for the center of town. My mind urged me to push onwards, reminding me that if I didn't continue to work, that I'd never be thin, never become pretty. But physically, I was exhausted; the sleepless night finally taking its toll on my body. And I had at least three miles home, the two in the long driveway hardly counted the first time, but now they seemed an insurmountable obstacle. So, I gave into my aching legs, spun on my heel, and turned for home.

* * *

"Did she say when she'd be back?" Arielle asked, a hint of nerves playing in her words, as she puttered about the spacious kitchen.

"No, she did not." Carlisle said calmly, turning the page of his newspaper.

"Why on earth did you let her go?"

With a sigh, he set the paper side, and looked into the eyes of his wife; his second chance. The one he often felt he didn't deserve. "My love, she's no longer a child. She wanted to go for a run, a little fresh air. Why should I have begrudged her that?"

Arielle leaned over the counter, resting her chin in her palms. "I'm being stupid and overprotective, aren't I?"

Carlisle stood, moving to her side. "You are indeed."

She smiled, standing upright, facing him again. "Why are you always right?"

Playfully, he hooked his arm around her waist. Pulling her closer, he stared into her eyes with a passion that a decade hadn't faded. "Experience," he said simply.

She rolled her eyes. "Ah, right."

"And, I've told you before," he reminded her with a laugh, "I revel in it."

She kissed him hard then, knotting her fists into his blonde hair.

"I've often wondered why that is…" she mused with a smile when they finally broke apart.

"When I'm right, I have an excuse to show off…"

"Yes, yes, you always did enjoy that," she snickered "although, it is quite rude."

"I recall a certain event where my showing off worked quite effectively. You didn't find it so rude then…"

She smiled at the memory. "The mountain" her response was simple, but enough to bring a grin to his face as well.

"I could show off more if you like…"

She took his innuendo, his invitation, at face value, and barked a laugh. "You'll have to hold that thought. Paige is home."

* * *

I heard them in the kitchen, my mother's high pitched lyric laughter, indiscernible whispers from Carlisle. They'd been married for eleven years. I remembered the ceremony. Here in this house. It was the last night we'd spent here before moving on. Christmas Eve, I was five. We'd moved a lot when I was younger; always it felt like we were running. When they'd told me we were coming back to Forks, I was relieved. It was nice to be somewhere familiar. Comfortable. Though, they'd always been happy wherever we went, now as I thought about it, most likely it was because they were together. She looked at him with undying love, he at her, with unspeakable admiration. I was jealous of them, I realized with a start. I wanted someone to look at me like Carlisle looked at my mother. Was that wrong? I shook my head. No, I thought, shaking my head. I had to feel like it was the natural order of things. To love, and be loved in return. But how could I ever get noticed standing next to someone like my mother, or like any one of my aunts? The answer was simple, I could not. In the corner of my mind, I heard Carlisle announce my return, and knew they expected me to join them. And uncontrollable sadness took over me, and all of a sudden, I didn't want to see anyone. I sprinted up the stairs, and locked myself in the spacious bathroom off the second landing. I spun the tap, and stripped my clothing while the water grew hot. My legs felt limp; though I was certain soreness would set in soon. Steam billowed in the room, rising slowing, beating off the chill that the early morning air had set in my bones. Still waiting, gingerly, I set a foot on the scale, turning it on. I closed my eyes, and sucked in a breath, afraid of what the digital display would spit back.

_108._

Not enough.

I stepped into the shower, letting the heat of the water boil my blood. It felt good as it washed over my skin, relaxing, and somewhat calming. I had truly hoped that a six mile run was a start in the right direction. That I'd be able to step on that scale, and at least feel some sense of accomplishment. Was five pounds too much to ask for? But instead all I felt was sheer exhaustion. That I'd wasted my time wasted my effort. The scent of my shampoo floated through the air, even when I turned the tap, tapering off the steam. With a loud sigh, I stepped from the shower, my hair hanging wet and heavy down my back. I wrapped a clean, fluffy towel around my now aching body, and trapped my hair in a second one. As I opened the bathroom door, I was immediately assaulted by the smell of fresh blueberry pancakes. A sense of longing filled me, and my stomach growled. I shook my head, knocking the makeshift turban loose.

"Stop it, Paige" I ordered myself, turning to dart upstairs, hoping to find something suitable to wear, and I slammed right into Edward. I fell backwards. It had been years since I'd walked into one of my relatives. I'd nearly forgotten how…hard they all were.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and accepted his hand to help me up.

"No harm." He responded with a smile, and sniffed the air. "Smells like your mom is making pancakes."

Like I really needed a reminder. "Yeah, it does," I agreed halfheartedly. "I gotta-" and I gestured wildly to the stairs, indicating my need for clothing.

"Of course." He responded to my unsaid words, and continued on his way. I thought for a brief moment, he had more to say, but silence ensued. And with a shrug, I sulked my way up the stairs.

* * *

I stood outside the chemistry building, leaning nonchalantly against the bricks, leg crossed. I twirled the cigarette between my fingers; raining specks of ash on the sidewalk bellow me.

"You left without me again!"

I turned around and found myself nose to nose with my cousin.

"Well, you were still eating breakfast…and it's not like you don't have a car of your own!"

Renessme rolled her eyes, and tossed my cigarette to the ground, extinguishing it with the toe of her boot. I wrinkled my nose, but said nothing, knowing it would only start a fight, and so I followed her into our classroom, plopped into my seat.

"Speaking of breakfast, don't think it went unnoticed by people that you bailed on that this morning."

"I wasn't hungry." I lied a little too quickly. "And I ate a big lunch." I assured her.

She looked at me skeptically, but said nothing else, and opened her book. I copied her, keeping my mouth shut, letting the silence grow uncomfortable.

"Paige, look. It's really none of my business, but you've always been a little…well, a little obsessed with how you look." I shot her a grim look, which she ignored and continued with her speech. "I just think you don't need to be."

"I'm not obsessed." I assured her. She continued to look skeptical. "No, really." I said with a soft smile. "I'd be happy with five pounds. Just get rid of the extra baggage."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't think you need even that." Her words were adamant, and I knew it would be useless to argue with her, so I changed the subject. "Do you want a ride home?"

Recognizing defeat, she grudgingly went along with me. "Yes, actually, I had my dad drop me off."

"Okay." I said quietly, and turned my attention to Mr. Banner, as he lectured us on the proper uses of litmus paper.


	4. Where I Belong

Jacob phased. He was pleasantly surprised to discover how good it felt to be on four legs again, after spending so much of his time human. He took off at a run, his paws splashing through puddles, droplets of dirty water catching in his shaggy fur. He closed his eyes, inhaling.

_Hey Jake!_

Seth was on duty. He groaned slightly. This was the one member of the pack he felt like he owed something to. The guilt, though it was a decade old, hadn't faded.

_Hey, kid. How have things been?_

_Quiet._ He mused_ Not at all up to standards. _

_I'll bet your mom is happy about that. _

_Not really, _he thought with a howl that sounded like a laugh_ when the pack has nothing to do-_

_They eat. _I finished his thought

_Yeah. And Mom is convinced that there will be no food left on the reservation soon. _

I snorted. _She's probably right. _

_Probably, _he agreed. _Are you coming down to La Push? We've missed you…_

Jake hesitated. He hadn't been planning to visit the reservation. Paige's absence from the house seemed like a perfect excuse to phase and get in a good run. Nothing else. But Seth's words stuck with him. "We've missed you." Jake sighed.

_Yeah, I guess I could help your poor mother deplete the food supplies some more…_

_That's the spirit! _He joked. _So how is everyone? _

_Good, good. The human girl, Paige, is attending Forks High now. We can actually be ourselves during the daytime. It's a nice change. _

_How old is she now? _

He thought about it for a moment. When you didn't age, time held little meaning. _Sixteen, I think. _

_Wow, she was like…what five? When…_Seth trailed off, lost in the very subject Jacob had been most afraid of.

_Maybe I should get lost. You guys don't need me around. _

_I do._ He stated adamantly. _I've always liked you, and I've always liked the Cullens. I was pretty hurt when you guys left so soon after everything. And I never even got to meet…Paige? Was that her name?_

_Yeah. Listen; maybe when you get off duty, you want to come have dinner with us? Save your mom the trouble? _

_Excellent! It'll be nice to catch up._

_I hope so, kid. _He mused quietly. _I really hope so. _

* * *

A television was on somewhere in the house, Emmett was cheering loudly, and I heard what sounded like a growled response. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. This was common place, for a September Tuesday afternoon in my house. Part of me longed to ignore it, to blow off everyone, to run up to my room, shut the door, and start the massive pile of homework that was weighing on my mind.

But I'd spent the better part of two days ignoring them.

So, with a reluctant sigh, I bypassed the living room- I don't think anyone should have to put up with my uncles' on a game day- and headed for Carlisle's study.

As was his usual custom, I found him in the familiar round room, with the red velvet curtains drawn, combining with overhead lights, casting a red fiery glow about the room. He looked up at me, smiling

"Hey, stranger."

I couldn't help but smile back. Sometimes I wondered whether my family was human or not. A stupid thought to have, I know. But often they were so damn perfect, I couldn't help but let my imagination run a little wild. Carlisle was the exception. I never doubted his humanity. And I could never stay angry with him for longer than ten minutes. I remembered, once when I was ten, my mother had sent me to the corner for back-talking her. I always did have a smart mouth. All she wanted me to do was apologize. Carlisle pretended to stay out of it, but when Arielle's back was turned, he snuck me a devil dog, and told me to pretend to apologize. I'd get out of trouble faster. And I'd done it, of course, as any ten year-old would. But I'd felt so bad about the lie later, that at ten o'clock that night, I'd gone into their room, crying hysterically, and really apologized. He'd smirked at me. I'll bet that had been his plan all along.

"Hi, dad."

His face lit up whenever I called him that. It seemed to give him such pleasure, the small gesture. I smiled again.

"What's on your mind kiddo?"

I sunk into the plush arm chair across from his desk, letting my heavy backpack fall to the floor with a loud _thunking_ noise. "Nothing," I jerked my thumb out the door, indicating the noise that Emmett, Jasper and the rest of my family were making down the hall. "I was looking to avoid all that."

He nodded, and set aside the thick tome he'd been thumbing through. "I can't blame you…they are rather obnoxious." He looked at me, through kind eyes, and knew something was wrong.

"Why are you really here?" he asked softly as he reached into his top draw where I knew he hid a stash of chocolate, -I always suspected he left them there specifically for me to steal- and offered me a piece. Politely, I shook my head, declining.

"Now, I know something is wrong. Since when do you refuse candy?"

"I sort of don't feel well." I answered with a forced smile, "and I sort of hate high school."

"Everyone hates high school." He responded kindly. "You're not the first, and you won't be the last."

"It's just… I don't understand why I have to go to school now. I was happy at home."

He beckoned his finger to me, sliding his chair back from his desk. I moved quickly, crawling into his lap like I did when I was younger. I laid my head on his shoulder, taking a few quick shuddering breaths, willing myself not to cry. I was too old for tears. He smoothed my hair, and my nerves, with the slightest touch of his cool fingers. His breathing was even, he smelled sweet. I felt a little better. "I don't want to go back." I whispered. "I just don't fit in there."

"You will. Paige, you're a fighter, it'll just take some getting used to."

I looked at Carlisle, his immeasurable inner strength, his unmatched beauty.

I didn't fit in here either.

I choose my next words carefully, but remained honest. "I don't…I don't know."

"That's the hardest part." He admitted in a whisper. "But it passes." He shot me a half smile, it felt genuine. I wanted it to be. "Come on, I think your mom made a pizza for dinner."

Pizza. The internal struggle began anew. I was almost unbearably hungry. But the number of calories that one slice of pizza contained…I didn't even want to think about it.

"Hey, kiddo, are you coming?"

I looked up, shaken from my daze, from my mind war. "Oh, um, no I'm not really hungry."

Paige, if you blow off breakfast and dinner, I don't think Arielle will be too happy."

I sighed. He was right. "Well, okay maybe I'll just have a salad or something. I have a little stomachache, and I'm in no mood to throw up tonight."

He gave me a pained smile, indicating he was in no mood to clean up puke tonight. I returned it with a laugh.

"I'm not seven anymore" I reminded him. "Don't worry."

"Can't help it," he said with a shrug "I always worry about you."

"You shouldn't" I said easily, rumpling his hair, as I jumped up from his lap. "I can take care of myself."

He laughed. "I know it." And he followed me from the room, down the long corridor, into the large, open kitchen.

The smell assailed my senses; melting cheese, a spicy marinara sauce. My stomach betrayed my mind, and grumbled loudly.

"I thought you weren't hungry?" Carlisle asked me with a wink.

I shrugged, childishly thrusting my tongue out at him. He chuckled.

I grabbed a piece of pizza, and took three huge bites, barely bothering to chew them, before I realized I had burned the roof of my mouth. I ran my tongue along it.

"Ouch." I whispered. Carlisle smirked, but I selectively choose to ignore it. I finished the rest of my slice slowly, feeling more and more guilty with each bite I took. And suddenly, I had the answer. There was a simple solution to all my problems.

* * *

"Yo."

I rolled my eyes as Jacob wandered into the kitchen. He grabbed two slices of pizza and stuffed them into his mouth, grinning widely. I was revolted.

"That's disgusting." I told him.

"Can't be helped, little one."

I wondered what Renessme saw in him. It was times like this when I really didn't understand my family. He was ten years older than her. And everyone was okay with it. Well, everyone except me. I thought it was weird. But she adored him. "Her Jacob" she always said. And no one could deny that he adored her just the same. For, when he spent time with her, he was slightly different. Somewhat more refined. I rolled my eyes. He'd always be a stupid big brother to me. One, I didn't necessarily like, either.

'Sure it can. You could start by eating one piece at a time. Then maybe, if you really wanted, you could chew with your mouth shut."

He feigned horror at my words, earning a laugh from the whole room, and a slap upside his head from Bella.

"Be nice." She chided.

"Sure, sure." He turned to Carlisle. "I invited Seth over for dinner…if that's alright…"

"Yes, of course." He responded smoothly, but swallowed hard. I wondered what could have happened to shake his usually flawless exterior. "When will he be here?"

Jake shrugged, lifting another piece of pizza. "Not sure. He wanted to go home and shower first."

"You're going to need more pizza, Arielle. If we're having…" Bella stopped chewing over her words. "Quileutes' over for dinner."

She scanned the food that was left. "Yeah, probably. They're all as bad as you Jacob."

"Where do you think I learned it from?" he asked with a toothy grin "But it's not the whole tribe, just Seth."

"Still," she mused. "I think we need more."

I watched, in somewhat of a stupor, as my mother threw together another dinner at lighting speed. I was constantly finding myself impressed by her.

It was the sound of the doorbell that shook me from my awe-induced trance. I heard Edward, grudgingly get off the couch and move to answer it.

"Seth, it's good to see you again."

The voice that responded, unfamiliar to me, was cheerful, and young sounding. "It's nice to be back here."

"Jacob's in the kitchen"

I liked the sound of the new voice, of this Seth. "Thanks. I can smell the pizza."

And, except for footsteps, there was complete silence.

"Carlisle, it's good of you to have me." The boy embraced my father, and turned around, looking me directly in the eyes.

The whole room spun, all I could see was his face. His exquisite face. Chiseled nose, high slashing cheekbones, endless black eyes. For that one split millisecond, when our gazes were connected, it felt as though nothing in the world mattered except him. A spark fizzled in the air.

"This is Seth." Jacob said on a laugh, "Seth Clearwater."

Seth extended his hand politely, and then appeared to find his voice. "You must be Paige. I've heard a lot about you."

"You have?" I asked dumbfounded, completely stupefied by my emotions.

"I've known the Cullens a long time." He responded with a smirk.

I felt like an idiot. This boy was obviously Jacob's age, slightly younger, and I was fairly certain I had just fallen head over heels for him. He'd barely said two words. I didn't understand it. "Right, of course you have." I shook my head, knocking a few curls loose from my ponytail. "And I have a pile of homework to finish." I stammered the words, desperate to escape the sudden heat that had encompassed the room. I bolted from the room, up the stairs to Carlisle's office, where I'd left my school things. I lifted the backpack, heaved it over my shoulder, and prepared myself for the next set of stairs.

* * *

"Holy shit." Seth whispered to no one in particular.

Jacob laughed. "What?"

"Paige. She…I…holy shit." He repeated.

Carlisle and Arielle looked completely confused. Bella, however, bust into laughter. "It's your turn now!" she joked, and immaturely pointed her index finger at Carlisle.

The crease in Carlisle's forehead grew deep with thought. "Oh. Oh my." Then he smiled.

"Will someone explain what's going on?" Arielle demanded.

Before he spoke, Seth took a step back from Arielle, putting counter space between them.

"I…I think I just imprinted on your daughter."


	5. Ripchord

Author's Note: This chapter is graphic in parts. Please review it and let me know if its too much. I'm slightly worried I went overboard.

* * *

Arielle swallowed, and then turned to Carlisle. "The…the love at first sight thing?"

He nodded, his gaze still completely focused on Seth. The silence was growing uncomfortable. When he spoke, his tone was dulcet and muted. "Are you sure?"

Seth shrugged. "I feel like…nothing else matters. Like Paige is the only thing connecting me to this world, and I can't go on without her." He turned to Jacob. "I can't imagine what else it could be."

"That's exactly how I felt." Jake agreed.

"Um, not to be a downer here…but…I think Paige is a little too young to be in love."

"Look at Renessme," Bella spoke kindly, "She's been committed to Jacob since she was born."

"That's different."

"No," Carlisle said, easily, "It's exactly the same. And she's sixteen. You were engaged and pregnant at sixteen."

"Exactly!" Arielle fumed. "Do you think I want my daughter to become me?! I don't know anything about Seth! How can I protect her?"

"You've known Seth for years…" Jacob's tone was cold, and defensive of his brother.

"_You've_ known Seth for years." She corrected. "I met him once, over a decade ago. During which he rushed into our home, saved our lives, and lost his sis--"

"Enough." Carlisle whispered, effectively ending the conversation. He turned to his wife, his face soft, and understanding. "You're overreacting." He said quietly, brushing a hair away from her eye. At the adamant look on her face, he kissed her gently- Jacob looked pointedly away. "You are. So listen, for just a moment."

She sighed, and Seth, sensing weakness, spoke again. "I didn't have any control over it. This was completely involuntarily." He swallowed before speaking again. "I'll try my best to stay away…"

"You don't need to do that." Carlisle said firmly. "We understand, from Jacob, exactly how hard that can be."

Seth exhaled loudly. "Just having her upstairs is making me anxious."

Jake laughed, cutting some of the tension in the room. "That passes." He assured him.

"What the real problem is," Carlisle spoke, his voice barely a whisper, no human ears could've heard him. "Now we need to tell her everything."

"We planned on doing that anyway. On her seventeenth birthday," Bella reminded him.

"Well, it needs to happen now." Arielle conceded. "She has to know."

* * *

I listened for sounds of life on the third floor. I wasn't surprised to hear silence, as mine was the only bedroom up there. So I tossed my backpack on my bed and moved to my desk, fishing around for a CD. I wanted something loud, something I knew all the lyrics to, something incredibly distracting. I flipped over a jewel case, and read the name on the front. "Black Sabbath"

"Perfect!" I thought aloud. I put the shiny round disk in the play, letting the screaming vocals of Ozzy Ozbourne penetrate my ears and fill the room. For good measure, I shut my heavy wooden door and bolted it. I slipped into the tiny half bath that Alice had forced Emmett to add to my room. It was the only thing Alice had ever forced anyone to do that I was grateful for. It was nice not to have to walk down the stairs to go to the bathroom at two am, and I was especially grateful for the privacy it allowed me now.

I took three deep breaths, willing myself not to think about what I was about to do. I turned on the faucet, humming along with the lyrics to "Crazy Train". Between the running water and the music, no one would ever hear me.

I knelt on the cold tile floor, and my fingers seemed to act of their own accord. They slid down my throat, and per reflex, I gagged, but nothing else happened. Undeterred, I tried again, this time with success. Sounds of violent retching filled the small room, drowning out the sound of the water. I clutched onto the porcelain edge of the toilet until the accompanying shaking had subsided. I stood finally, slightly unsteady at first, and moved to the sink to brush the taste away from my mouth.

I'd expected to feel guilty and was pleasantly surprised to find I wasn't the least bit. Instead, I felt accomplished. I had eaten to please my family, but had gained nothing from it to please myself.

I tapered the flow of the water, spinning off the taps. I set my toothbrush down, and wandered back into my bedroom, letting my thoughts turn to Seth. That was something I really didn't understand. He was older, and I barely knew him. I had absolutely no business picturing him holding me, imagining us together. Forever. Thinking that he was the only thing in the world that mattered anymore. That was an absolutely ludicrous line of thinking. And it was going to result in pain for me.

I shook my head violently. "Stop it, Paige" I ordered. "You can't have him, and he wouldn't want you anyway.

But I could have sworn, for just a second, that he did.

I turned the music down to a manageable level, and flopped down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The colored scarves I'd hung from the wooden rafters fluttered in the breeze flowing through the open window. I blew out a sigh. I was completely hopeless.

* * *

The family, sans Paige, but replaced with Seth, settled in the living room. Carlisle turned to Edward.

"What is she thinking?"

Edward wrinkled his nose slightly. "I've really been trying to tune her out. I hate invading her privacy like this. She deserves a chance to be rebellious just like every other teenager."

"This is too serious for that!" yelled Jacob, angrily.

"Alright, alright" he conceded and the room grew silent as he listened. "She's thinking…the lyrics to 'Crazy Train'…Ah, now she is thinking of Seth. And also, that a purple scarf might look nice next to the blue one."

Alice beamed. "I think she will get one for Christmas…"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Well, if anyone would know…"

"So, what do we do?" Rosalie asked dryly returning to conversation back to the subject at hand. "Oh, good morning Paige, by the way, your entire family is made up of vampires. Well, except one werewolf."

"Shape shifter" Seth mumbled.

"Right, sorry." She smiled wryly. "One shape-shifter. And it's perfectly okay that you can't stop thinking about Seth Clearwater. The two of you are destined to shack up and procreate. No big deal."

Her sarcasm earned a weak laugh from the entire room.

"I don't think we should say it quite like that." Carlisle muttered, "But, to be honest, I'm not sure how we should say it…"

"You know," Bella interrupted, speaking finally. "What convinced me of what you, of what we, are was the Quileute legends." She smiled at Jacob. "And it wouldn't be breaking the treaty because she's the subject of an imprint…right?"

Jake returned her smile. "Yup. Exactly right, Bells."

"That sounds like a well reasoned plan." Carlisle agreed, "And we know she already has her suspicions."

Jasper scoffed. "She's had her suspicions about us. She's never doubted YOUR humanity, Carlisle."

Carlisle ignored the rub, instead giving him a gentle smile. "She did have some pretty crazy theories about me as well."

"Only that you were a superhero…" Arielle reminded him with a peck on his cheek.

"Not so far fetched," Bella added. "Besides, I had a similar theory when I was human."

"Indeed… I recall something about a radioactive spider?" Edward retorted with a chuckle.

"But Paige never came close. She's lived with us for ten years, and has no idea. Bella figured it out in a year."

"Paige has been isolated from normal humans since she was five. She doesn't look at us as all that strange like Bella did." Carlisle reminded them. "No offense, Bella."

"None taken." She waved him off. "I did think you were strange. But that probably had more to do with the fact that Edward wanted to kill me than anything else…" Everyone laughed, becoming more at ease. Bella continued to talk. "And I probably wouldn't have guessed everything I did, at least not so soon if it wasn't for Jake and the Quileute's."

Arielle sighed. "Well then, Seth, I suppose this falls on you."

"I don't want to scare her off. . ." Seth admitted weakly.

"You won't." Jake assured him. "She's tied to you now. She won't leave."

"Then I guess," he said slowly, "we have a plan."


	6. Escape

The knock at my door was extremely soft- it was a wonder that I heard it over the music I still had playing. I nearly yelled for whoever it was to go away, but I had a lingering hope that it was Seth. A fool's hope. _Stupid romanticism._

I got up and unlocked it, stunned to find my hope had come true. My heart caught in my throat. He was unbelievably perfect, though in a different way than the rest of my family.

"Uh…Hi." I stammered.

"Hi, back." He smiled, at ease with himself. "Looks like you got the best room in the house…"

I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. I like that it's so private."

Seth nodded. "Private definitely has its advantages." He took my chin in his hand, and I thought for a second he was going to kiss me. I stopped breathing. But then, after what seemed like hours, but may very well have been seconds, he let me go. "So, I was thinking…"

"I don't know if I like the sound of that…" I was surprised at my sudden ability to speak normally.

He smiled lazily, and I was instantly more attracted to him. "Maybe you'd like to come down to La Push next weekend. There's going to be a bonfire… and the elder's are going to tell the stories of our history."

"Like legends and stuff?" I was weary of anything that deviated from fairytales. Sometimes I felt like the stories related too well to my own family, which made me feel strangely uncomfortable.

"Actually, they're mostly true. I've heard them all before, but it's kinda cool. Especially for a first timer. Your Aunt Bella used to come."

I thought about it for a minute. Where was the harm? "Sure, I guess…but I'd have to check with my mom…I've never really gone out before." I admitted with the embarrassment apparent on my cheeks.

Seth blushed, too, though it was attractive on him. "I sorta asked them if you could come already."

It startled me, but I supposed it made sense. The Quileutes were well liked in my family. "Oh. Um. Well then, I guess it's all settled then." I stared at my feet. The silence grew awkward.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" He spoke slowly, by way of breaking the quiet.

"No." I admitted halfheartedly. And I didn't care where we went; as long as I got to be with him.

"Well, it's really cool. There's all these colors and-"

He rambled on; I got caught up in my on daydream. I wanted to kiss him, and I wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was because he smelled so good. Faintly of freshly cut trees, and clean air. Maybe it was because his lips just looked so warm and inviting. I couldn't understand it. He had a distinct animal essence about his personality, and I was instinctively drawn to it.

"Paige, are you listening?"

I laughed. I was caught. "No." I admitted.

"What could have been so important that you couldn't be bothered to listen to my fascinating wealth of useless knowledge?"

I laughed again, embarrassed. "Nothing."

"I pictured you a better liar."

"You don't even know me!" I accused.

"Very true, I don't." he smiled. "But sometimes you can get a feel for these things. Even in just a few minutes."

I sighed. "Do you really want to know what I was thinking about?"

"Would you believe me if I said yes?"

"Probably not," I admitted. "And it doesn't matter, because that's a secret to be shared at a later date."

Seth smiled, and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, that's cool, I've always loved a good mystery."

I tried to make a reality my vision of what a mysterious smirk would look like, and apparently, it hadn't worked. Seth barked out a laugh, odd how it was so reminiscent of Jake's, yet so much better. "Wanna take a seat?"

He couldn't. He said he had to go back home and help out his mother. For some reason, I believed him. A bitter sense of disappointment had encompassed me, but when he promised to return, I remembered feeling better. I didn't remember falling asleep. My dreams were sporadic and plagued by images of less than adequate self image. Of Seth leaving me for someone prettier. For someone thinner. The alarm was ringing, the screach resounding loudly with the great acoustics in my room. I slammed the button down, forcing myself to get out of bed. Six miles, I promised myself, and turned my attention to the glaring red display.

_4:30._

I had to have the inner strength to do this. I was tired, and desperately wanted to roll over and fall back asleep. But my dreams haunted me. Five pounds. I convinced myself. It was all I'd need. I'd be happy with that.

* * *

"That's two days in a row…" Arielle muttered and pulled the sheet over her body, covering her exposed flesh.

"I think it's nice she's committing to something that won't poison her lungs." Carlisle whispered, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist.

"You could've stopped that, you know." she reminded him. "That girl will do anything you tell her."

"Because I'm superman…right?"

"Don't push it, ace."

"I'm curious now…" he murmured, nibbling at her bottom lip. "If not superman, then who?"

Arielle shrugged, and then sighed as he cupped her breast with his hand. "Did they have superheroes when you were young?" She asked gently.

"Only monsters" Carlisle admitted.

"Well, that will never do." She smiled lazily. "You can be superman if you want then."

"No." he gasped, "I'm perfectly happy being me."

Then her mouth took his again, and he could all but feel his brain disolving.

He loved her, wanted her, needed her, just as impossibly as she loved, wanted, needed him.

He murmured to her, her first name. Just Arielle. Only Arielle. Then in Spanish, _mi amor_. My love. His love. And the rest was lost as his hands guided her, as in a dance, and she bowed back for him.

"Mine" he said, clamping her hips, slipped into her. The sigh became a gasp, became a single shuddering moan, and he wasn't sure from whom it had come. She clung to him, eyes locked, desperate for more. He was willing to give it.

"I love you." She whispered.

"As I do you," Carlisle said quietly. The pleasure flashed, bright as a sizzling diamond, and they took the fall together.

* * *

_103._

Not enough.

I wanted to scream it. I stared blankly at my reflection. Pockets of fat and excess weight spurned from all angles. And I deeply regretted that Renessme had caught me on the tail end of my run and forced me to sit down and eat with her. I'd indulged myself with breakfast, having the leftover chocolate chip pancakes from yesterday. Just the thought of the food was enough to have my stomach revolting, and heaving its contents into the sink before me. I was thankful for the running water of the shower, grateful Renessme's omnipotent father had taken her mother on a hiking trip for the weekend. I had solace in my thoughts.

When I was sure it had passed, I stepped into the boiling water of the shower, and let it bead upon my back. The run hadn't hurt as much today. My legs were still sore, but I found that I was able to go much faster without trying as hard. I moved through my morning in a daze, dressing in a baggy sweatshirt and oversized jeans to hide my weight. I didn't want anyone to see me. I'd thrown my hair into a high ponytail, foregone makeup.

In a desperate attempt to avoid being yelled at later, I waited for Renessme, growing impatient with her numerous wardrobe changes, with the absolute perfection she did everything with.

"Let's go!" I bellowed "We're going to be late!"

She descended the stairs, flashing a brilliant smile. "Chill, I'm ready."

I fumed for a moment. "Whatever." And I turned on my heels, saying nothing more.

The sun began to peak over the horizon, tinting the sky indigo. I manually lowered the top on my car, and struck my lighter, inhaling off my fresh cigarette.

"I hate that."

"Drive yourself then." I spat.

"Did I do something to you?" she asked, defensively.

"No," I said with a sigh. "I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well."

Renessme nodded, understanding. "You look like you've lost weight as well…"

I brightened at this. "That's nice to hear, but it's not true."

She shrugged. "Well, try taking something. You need to feel better. I hear you have a date next Friday…"

"How do you know that?" I demanded, flicking the ash off the end of my cigarette.

"I heard him asking Carlisle." She lied smoothly. "I assumed you'd say yes."

"Oh." I said feeling slightly cheered. "Yeah, I said yes."

"Good." She squealed. "Then you'll need to look your best. We'll have to fix whatever's bothering you."

I sighed. It was going to take a lot more than whatever Renessme could cook up to make me feel better at this point.


	7. Take Me Under

The week flew by. I was proud of myself for sticking to my workout routine. I was pleased with my eating habits, for I'd learned – in chemistry class none the less – that coffee had no calories when consumed black. And also, that it acted as an appetite suppressant. Needless to say, I'd become an avid fan. Temporarily, I was pleased, but not satisfied. Vaguely, I wondered if I'd ever be satisfied.

"So, tonight's the big night."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes mom. But it's not like I haven't spent every afternoon this week with him…"

"I know," she agreed. "But this is your first real date. I want you to have a good time."

"I always have a good time with Seth." I muttered

Arielle shot me a loving smile. Sometimes it was so easy to make her happy. I lifted a pair of clean jeans from their hanger, and hear my mother sniffle behind me. I sighed.

"What's wrong with these!" I demanded to know. "They're clean!"

"Wear a dress." She pleaded "It would look so nice."

"To go and sit on the beach? No thank you. Besides, it's going to be cold later."

"I just wish you wouldn't always wear those bulky clothes. You're too pretty to hide under them…"

How I wished she was right.

"Well, I don't want to be cold. I'm wearing jeans." I scoffed

"Humor me, Paige. At least wear a nicer shirt."

I groaned, conceding. "Pick one, then" and I flicked my hand around the spacious closet.

She tossed me a charcoal grey sweater, one I rather disliked, for the fabric clung to my skin. But grudgingly, to appease her, I stripped off my tee-shirt, letting it fall to the ground.

Her gasp startled me.

"You've lost a lot of weight." Arielle commented softly when she found her voice.

"Not really." I said defensively and pulled the second shirt over my head.

"Yes, really." She retorted, raising her tone just slightly. "I could count your ribs."

I scowled. "Stop, Mom you're overreacting." And I sulked from the closet, from my room, taking care to slam the door behind myself.

* * *

"I honestly haven't detected anything like that in her thoughts." Edward whispered. "She wanted to lose five pounds. That's simply a vanity thing. I would imagine if it was anything else, I'd know…Perhaps you _are_ overreacting."

"You didn't see her. I'm telling you, something's not right. You've missed it." Arielle was practically yelling now. The engine of Paige's car revved in the garage, and they heard her peel down the driveway.

"I'll keep an eye out." He promised "But honestly, she's been eating with us…I don't think you need to worry."

"I always worry."

"Parental prerogative" Edward responded with an understanding smile.

Arielle sighed. "You're probably right. And I'm sure Carlisle will say the same thing. I always overreact."

"When it comes to those we care about, we're entitled." He glanced at Bella, who was sitting on the couch, legs curled beneath her, a book in her hand, and he smiled. Ever so slightly, just enough to remind her he cared. She returned his grin.

"You were way too protective of me."

"Don't bother denying that you needed it. Bella, you used to trip over air."

She tossed her book aside, gathered him in her arms. "Indeed" she agreed "Though, I resented it. Especially early on."

He swept her low, kissed her, hard, and quick. "Do you still?"

"Not for a single moment.

* * *

The rain from that morning was letting up, though a think haze of graying clouds still hung in the air. I drove along the winding roads to La Push. Seth had promised me that "I couldn't miss his house" Subconsciously, I found myself rolling my eyes. There were miles of trees on the reservation. How was anyone supposed to find a house? I lit a cigarette, then downshifted my car, moving at a crawling pace. I didn't want to take a chance and miss it.

And then I saw him.

He had been right, there was no way I could have driven past it, not with him leaning casually against a thick oak tree in his front yard, his legs crossed, and a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. I stopped my car inches from him, threw the emergency brake up, and forced myself to breathe.

"Hey there,"

I tossed the cigarette to the ground, mashed it out with my foot. "I missed you" I admitted softly, unsure where the sudden bravery was coming from.

He linked fingers with me, walking me towards his home. "I missed you too." He whispered as he pushed open the front door.

"Mom, this is Paige."

I smiled at Sue Clearwater, taking in everything about her. She was a tiny woman; her face was lined, and worn. She had the distinct appearance of age that my family…lacked. Her eyes, on the other hand were a clear vivid, lively blue. They danced with the light from the fire that burned in the hearth. I bit down on my top lip. I got the distinct impression she was judging me.

"It's nice to finally meet you." She said warmly, and pulled me into a deep embrace. Seth had wandered into the kitchen, and was spreading peanut butter on a single slice of bread. He winked at me, I stifled a giggle. His mom finally released me, and I felt my hands drop to my sides.

"Are you hungry, Paige? We'll have food down at the beach later, but it seems those boys are always hungry…"

As if to prove her point, Seth shoved the entire sandwich into his mouth.

"That's disgusting," Sue spoke with authority "and rude."

I laughed. "I'm used to it."

She scowled. "I hope you haven't been eating like that in front of this poor girl. You'll scare her away."

I laughed again. "He hasn't." I assured her. "Mostly, I'm used to it from Jacob."

"Oh." Her response was simple, and she turned her attention back to Seth. "Still, don't do it again."

He sighed "Yes, mom," then he turned his attention back to me. "Wanna head down to the beach?"

I looked at the watch on my wrist. "Sure, I guess."

He grabbed my hand, pulling me out the back door, down a series of rickety wooden steps, onto a blanket of soft sand.

"Finally quiet." He whispered.

Privately, I agreed. The thing I enjoyed most about Seth was he never seemed to feel the need to fill the silence. We were perfectly at ease with each other, and we never needed to say more than a few words. I let my gaze wander to the ground, the sand was wet, but Seth had no shoes on. I decided to copy him, leaning over, I removed my sneakers, then my socks, tucking them securely inside. I left them on the bottom stair.

He ran to the water's edge, the foamy water licking at his ankles, at the tips of his faded jeans.

"Come here." He said softly.

I shook my head. "No freaking way. It's cold in there." I crossed my arms over my chest, my hair whipping wildly around my face in the wind.

"Come here." He repeated

I took three steps closer to him, and then abruptly stopped. "This is as good as you get."

His eyebrows shot upwards, his lips curved into a sly smile. Then he ran at me. He was impossibly quick. Even with my newly toned body, I don't think I ever stood a chance at out running him.

But I tried. I squealed, and darted away the instant I realized what his plan was. I kicked up sand behind me, trapped a fair amount between my toes. His hands caught me around the waist, I struggled to escape. Thwarting all my attempts, he swept me off the ground, into his grip, and I was surprised to discover how strong he was. He made it seem effortless.

"You should have just put your feet in, like I wanted."

My eyes went wide with horror. "Seth, you wouldn't!"

"I would, and I am." And with a laugh, he promptly dumped me into the Pacific Ocean.

The water was icy cold, just as I'd predicted, and it felt like I was being prodded with the tips of a thousand tiny knives. When I pulled myself up, my hair hung wet and stringy around my face, my jeans were heavy. I narrowed my eyes.

"Bastard" I muttered through chattering teeth. He stood, a few feet from me, consumed by silent laughter. I tackled him. In his moment of distraction, I took him down, and we were both swallowed by the current of the ocean. I swallowed a gulp of salt water, wrinkling my nose in disgust. As we washed ashore, Seth continued to laugh.

"Now, all that could've been avoided."

"You're a jerk." I said slowly as I attempted to squeeze some of the water from my hair.

"You act like I've never been called that before…"

I thrust my tongue outwards towards him. "Still, you're a jerk."

"Oddly enough, I'm okay with that." He re-linked fingers with me, and we made our way, sopping wet, back towards his house.

Mrs. Clearwater's mouth was set in a hard line, her head shaking slightly. "I apologize for my son, Paige. Since I know he won't do it." She smiled kindly. "He thinks everyone should swim in the Pacific in September. He can be a bit of an idiot."

"It's really okay." I responded brightly. "Though I was hoping I could maybe change my clothes before we had to go back out?"

"Of course." She agreed "The bathroom's at the end of the hallway. Have yourself a hot shower, and I'm sure we can find something that will fit you."

I smiled gratefully and made my way down the corridor, and found there were two rooms. The doors were closed on both of them, so I chose the left, knocking first. When no response came, I turned the knob slowly.

Immediately, I realized I'd made the wrong choice. I was in a bedroom. A double bed took up most of the space; its flowery comforter looked as though it hadn't been slept on for years. I knew I should have closed the door behind myself and walked away, but I was drawn to a photo taped to the wall above the bed. Seven faces beamed back at me. I recognized almost all the faces. Edward, Alice, Jacob, Carlisle, Bella, though I noticed her eyes were a different color, Seth, and a girl I didn't know. She was pretty, in an exotic way, and had the same color eyes, the same high slashing cheekbones, as Seth. I wondered how she was related to him. I caught sight of the date in the corner of the photo.

_11, July, 1994_

They all looked exactly the same. Even Seth. Confusion roared inside me. How was this possible?

"So, I see you've met Leah."

I turned around; his voice had wiped the question from my mind, only guilt and panic were evident on my face. I was obviously in a place where I didn't belong. "I'm sorry, your mom didn't say which one was the bathroom, and then I saw this picture…" I rambled on, hoping he'd see my mistake.

"It's really no big deal." He assured me. "My home is your home."

"So, this girl, her name is Leah?" I asked softly pointing to the unknown girl in the picture.

"Yeah, my sister."

A lump caught in my throat. "I didn't know you had a sister…"

"She died." He said simply. "We really don't talk about it."

"Oh." I murmured. "I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago." He whispered.

I let it go. "I'll just … go shower."

He smirked at me, a silent gesture, letting me know all was well, and I left the room, darting into the one across the hall.

I ran the water hot, letting it rinse the crusting salt from my hair, from my face. I squeezed a dollop of blue shampoo into my palm. It smelled light, vaguely reminiscent of what Seth's hair usually smelled like. I laughed at myself. Of course it did, it was probably his shampoo. When I decided there was no possible way any salt or sand could be remaining on my body, I stepped out, wrapping myself in a towel I'd found in the small cabinet beneath the sink. I stared at the floor where I'd dropped my clothing. Putting on wet jeans was the worst feeling in the entire world.

As if an answer to my unspoken thought, there came a reserved knock on the door. I cracked it open, sticking my face in the sliver of open space. When I saw that it was Mrs. Clearwater, and not Seth, I pushed it open wider.

"I brought you something to change into…"

"You're a godsend. I hate wearing wet jeans."

"Don't we all?" She handed me a pile of fresh clothing, which I gratefully took. "It's getting dark out now, they'll probably start the fire in about an hour…so when you've finished, you should probably head back down to the beach."

"Oh. Um, great thanks." My eyes found themselves on the pile of wet sandy clothing that sat on her impeccably clean bathroom floor. She understood my thoughts.

"I'll throw those in the wash for you."

"You really don't have to bother; I'll just throw them over the railing outside."

"Don't be silly. I have to wash Seth's clothes anyway."

"Okay then. Thank you." She smiled at me again, and moved to close the bathroom door. I bit down on my lip, contemplating the other question that was racing through my mind. I decided it was a night for bravery. "Mrs. Clearwater?"

"Please, call me Sue. Mrs. Clearwater makes me feel old. Which I'm not."

I smiled again. It was hard not to like her. "Sue, I accidentally went into the room across the hall."

Her face fell. "We, that is to say, Seth and I, rarely go in there. It's painful."

I felt bad for bringing it up, but I needed to know. "Yeah, he mentioned that, once I realized that I was in the wrong room." I waited a beat before continuing. "But I saw a picture in there…a picture of my family…dated over fourteen years ago. And Seth…well Seth looks exactly the same."

She exhaled loudly, and took a moment, clearly choosing her words carefully. "You'll understand after the bonfire."

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that he and I can't seem to stay away from each other?"

She looked relived I seemed to understand, seemed to accept so easily. "Yes, Paige. It does." And without another word, turned to leave, pulling the door shut behind herself.

I dressed quickly, and found Seth again in the kitchen.

"Ready?"

I was nervous now. It dawned on me now that Seth, and everyone in my family for that matter, weren't aging. I was worried about what the possible explanation for this was. I felt as though it should have been something I would have picked up upon years ago, something I should have long since realized. Perhaps it was something I'd been selectively ignoring for years, something I just didn't want to admit.

My family couldn't be human.

But I refused to believe they were bad either. How could, the man for all intensive purposes was my father, Carlisle, be anything other than good? How could my mother, who had survived more than any one person should ever have to be anything but good? I swept my still damp hair out of my face. Did I really want to learn what I was about to learn?


	8. Shattered Innocence

We walked down the beach in silence. A breeze had picked up, and it whipped my still wet hair around, violently. The wet sand sank beneath my bare feet, turned darker with each step I took, illuminated by the rising moonlight.

A fire flickered in the distance, laughter rang out, it reminded me very much of Jacob. Seth led me to a circle of logs surrounding the blazing fire.

"It's blue," I marveled, staring in awe at the brilliant flames.

"The salt does it," Seth replied, shadows flickering off his face in the firelight. "Pretty, isn't it?"

Seth sat down against one of the logs and motioned for me to join him.I gladly snuggled into his lap, pressing my cheek against his warm chest.

"Hey, Seth," came a voice. I turned to see a tall boy with same attributes that Jacob and Seth had. "This must be Paige."

I blushed. Apparently Seth had been talking about me.

The boy extended his hand. "I'm Quil. Nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too." I noticed his hand was as warm as Seth's. What was with these Quileute boys?

Suddenly a young girl, about twelve or thirteen years old, jumped onto Quil's back. Her sleek black hair was braided into two neat plaits, and there was just a hint of blush to her caramel coloured skin. I found myself subconsciously envying her beauty.

"Guess who?" she shrieked, clinging tightly to Quil's neck.

"Hmm…" said Quil, a playful smile on his face." I wonder…could it be…Claire?"

Claire laughed and jumped down from his back. "Come on, Quil! Emily's handing out marshmallows for s'mores. If we don't hurry, Embry will eat them all."

"See you later guys!" Quil called as Claire dragged him away.

"His little sister?" I guessed, turning to Seth.

Seth laughed. "Uh…well" he stuttered trying to find the right way to describe Claire and Quil's relationship. "He sees her more than her own family does."

Before I could ask anymore questions, a young couple approached us, the woman holding a small bundle in her arms.

"Hey, Jared," called Seth as they neared us. "How's the little man doing?"

"He's fine, though he's keeping me and Kimmy up most of the night," Jared said with a smile.

The woman sat down beside me. "You must be Paige. We've all heard so much about you. I'm Kim, and this is Thomas."

How much had Seth been saying about me? I wondered to myself. "It's nice to meet you," I said, glancing at Thomas. He had the same gorgeous attributes of everyone else on the reservation. "He's precious."

Kim beamed, pulling the blanket snugly around her baby.

"Attention everyone!" came a gruff voice from the other side of the fire. I saw the voice belonged to an elderly man.

Almost immediately, the crowd grew silent as the turned to look at the old man. A sense of foreboding hung in the air, my next breath caught in my chest.

"That's Jacob's father," Seth whispered, his hot breath in my ear.

As Mr. Black began to speak, I shivered slightly despite Seth warm arms and the heat of the fire. Somehow I knew nothing would ever be the same.

* * *

Arielle paced the kitchen floor nervously. "She's going to hate us for the rest of our lives."

"You don't know that love. You can't." Carlisle said soothingly, as he ran a finger through her hair.

"I know enough of Paige to know that she'd consider this base treachery. All she'll know is that we lied to her for her entire life. She won't care why."

"She's smarter than that. She has always been one who questions everything."

"Carlisle, we're her parents. We're not supposed to hide things from her. We're supposed to instill a basic sense of right and wrong, a thorough understanding of morals. But instead we spent the past ten years deceiving her."

"It was for her own protection. The Volturi would have killed her if they knew she knew. It was all we could do to keep her alive."

"And I know that. But why do I feel like a horrid mother anyway?"

"Because you're you. And you worry too much." He smiled when she looked pained. "And that's one of the many reasons I love you."

He wrapped a hand around her waist, drew her close. She took a shuddering breath, inhaling his scent. A fusion of expensive French lavender, and the clean crisp smell of jade. A smell she'd become overly intoned to, become completely dependent upon.

"In the meantime, distract yourself." He whispered "Dance with me."

She locked her arms around his neck, rested her head on his shoulder. "You know I hate doing this."

They swayed away as twilight took over the room, oranges and pinks brightened their faces, twinkled their eyes. "So, what is it you hate exactly?"

"Dancing, where everyone can see. Actually dancing with anyone but myself."

"You don't hate it." He assured her.

"It's hard to hate anything when I'm standing so close to you." She admitted on a sigh.

He laughed, drawing her impossibly close. "Everything will be okay."

"Somehow, when you say that, I'm compelled to believe it."

"Have a little faith. Don't be afraid."

"I can't be. I'm with you."

* * *

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Seth asked me, but his question fell on deaf ears. I was stunned, enchanted by what they had told me. Shape-shifters. Werewolves, for want of a better term. And I was surrounded by them, completely at ease. What the hell was the matter with me? Although the legends of the "cold-ones" had sent unnerving chills through my spine, and I felt as though there was more to be said on that subject. As if that particular tale wasn't over.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Seth repeated, his eyes wide with concern, as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face, tucked it behind my ear.

"Really, I'm fine. I ate before I came" I reassured him. "It's not my fault I can't pack it away like you fatties." I laughed and poked him in the stomach.

Seth looked like he had more to say on the subject, but the scarred woman that had been introduced to me as Emily shot him a death look, reminiscent of one my own mother would be proud of. Emily…and Sam, I believed, were the parents of the three older children running around the beach. Alexandra, Jamie, and Sarah. One of them giggled wildly, holding a toy above her head, clearly reaping the spoils of whatever victory she had just won. Next to the elderly people around the fire, Sam looked the most aged. He stood, and with a booming voice, called his brood to order. Both girls and the lone boy raced to sit in the single spot on their mothers lap. The eldest, who was about ten, was also the fastest, and claimed the spot, sticking her tongue out at her siblings. Jamie crawled into his father's lap, and Sarah claimed the spot between the both of them.

"Do we get to hear about the Cullen's now Momma?"

The sound of my last name caused me to draw my face out of where I'd buried it in Seth's shoulder. He placed a reassuring hand on the small of my back. I said nothing, but fear crawled through me. Did I really want my questions answered?

Emily nodded, and pressed her lips to her daughter's forehead. "Yes Alex."

"But I've heard it all before! And I don't know why you like it so much Alex. It's just a dumb story." Jamie whined.

"Yes, but Paige never did." Sam said softly and jerked a thumb in my direction.

I felt the blush rise hot in my cheeks.

"Oooo! Uncle Seth's girlllfriend!" they chorused loudly. Their parents made a loud shushing noise.

I stifled another laugh. Again Seth brushed the loose curl from my eye. "What's funny about that?" he asked me quietly. "Unless you don't want it to be true?"

I smiled at him. "I didn't say that." And I turned back to him; laying my head where it seemed to fit perfectly, just bellow his shoulder blade.

Billy Black spoke softly, but as soon as he opened his mouth, silence ensued around the fire.

"One hundred years ago, when my father, Ephraim, was chief of this tribe, a clan of vampires moved to the town of Forks, Washington. The tribe prepared itself for attack, to defend its women and children against the bloodsuckers."

Seth tightened his grip around my waist, the sheer measure of his strength sent a pain through my spine, but I ignored it, I needed him there.

"The leader approached Ephraim, speaking of things Quileute Indians had never heard of before. Treaties and peace between bloodsuckers and werewolves." Billy took a breath, letting the fire flicker around his face, giving the story far more drama, in my humble opinion, than it really needed. "Carlisle assured my father that his clan was different, that they didn't hunt humans. The strange amber tone of his eyes caused Ephraim to pause, to listen to what was being said to him. And so apprehensively, a bridge was created, on the pretense that the Cullens never bite another human again."

I was staggered. _Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen_. My father. My hands were shaking violently; I was fighting each breath I took.

"Let go of me." I whispered to Seth. He looked reluctant. "Please." I begged.

He did as I asked and I stood a little too quickly, swaying slightly.

As I ran towards the water, I vaguely heard Emily whisper, "let her be". The icy waves lapped at my feet, and my stomach did what it had been threatening to for the past hour. It revolted. I retched violently, the bile burned as it rose up from my empty stomach. The water washed it away, taking some of the pain with it. I felt a hand on my lower back, rubbing in small circles. I didn't need to turn around to know it was Seth.

"You don't need to see this." I whispered, my voice was harsh and raspy. It didn't feel like my own. I took a piece of gum from my back pocket, tossed it into my mouth.

"If you think I'm going anywhere, you're seriously mistaken."

"They lied to me Seth. For ten damn years!" I fumed, the anger replacing the hurt. "My whole fucking life is based on a fucking lie. I don't even know what's real anymore. I don't know what to think, I can't tell what's real."

"I'm real" he said quietly. "This is real" He took my hands, I felt as though and electric shock had hit my body. As his lips met mine, I wasn't sure what to expect. They were hot to the touch, I didn't care; the sensation was completely new to me, like fire and ice. And I wanted more. He dragged me deeper, melting out mouths closer. The gentle caution was gone, thrown to the wind. I locked my arms around his neck, closed my eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity, we broke apart. I was no longer conscious of my need for air. "I wouldn't have cared." I said finally. "It wouldn't have mattered to me what they are, or what they've done." And I broke down and cried.

The tears were exhausting, staggering. They consumed me. I wasn't sure how long he held me, for how many moments we stood there.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

He shook his head. "Don't be." He smoothed my hair with his hands. "There's more to the story though, and I think you need to hear it from your family. They need to tell you…" he trailed off.

"the truth." I finished.

He linked hands with me, and we headed back for his house. I was prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best.

* * *

I let Seth drive my car. No one ever drove my car but me. I just felt that I couldn't. I wasn't completely steady on my feet, and I didn't trust my strength or reflexes. We pulled back into my driveway. It was undeniably late, but I was too upset to be tired. Although I was forced to admit, I felt some relief finally knowing the truth.

"Ready?" he asked me.

"No." I sighed. "But I have to do it anyway."

And, fingers laced, we approached my front door. Before I could open it, he stopped me, placing a calming hand on my shoulder. He kissed me then, hard and quick. There was no gentle tasting this time, no exploratory tenderness.

"Do we really have to go inside?"

He ran a hand across my cheek. "Yes, we do. We have to finish this. And you want to finish this."

I took a cleansing breath. "Yeah. I do."

We walked inside, and the entire family was scattered about the living room. The television was on, a hockey game roared loudly from it. When they saw me, just like when Billy Black opened his mouth, complete silence took over.

"How much do you hate us?" Bella asked quietly.

"I haven't decided." I admitted honestly, and avoided the gazes of my parents. "We left the bonfire early, because I need to hear it from you. I want you to tell me the damn truth. All of it."

I turned my attention to Carlisle now, my eyes cold and full of steel. "I want you to tell me the damn truth."

He swallowed. "Paige, look first I need to tell you why."

"I don't care. It really doesn't matter. I just want the story."

"Why is everything, Paige. Not all vampire covens work like ours does. Most hunt humans." I inhaled, and he continued. "In Italy, there is a family that keeps us all in check. They keep humans from discovering us, from exposing our secret. It would have meant your death if they had discovered you knew."

"So you protected me. There had to be a better way than lying to me for the last ten years!"

"Maybe there was." My mother spoke softly. "But we couldn't see it. And we only wanted what was best for you."

I sighed and sank into the only empty chair. Seth sat on the armrest, wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

Carlisle launched into his tale, I was completely riveted. The depths of the things he'd done fascinated me, and I forgot I was supposed to be angry with him.

"Exactly how old are you?" I asked him with a shaky voice.

He smiled. "Three hundred seventy five."

I gasped. Whatever I had been expecting, that wasn't it. "Holy shit" I muttered.

There was a general murmur of laughter around the room. He continued with the story, and I guess I ooh'ed and ah'ed in all the right places because my family continued to smile. Each person took over when it came time for their respective parts, tears welled in my eyes when Rosalie spoke, and I outright cried when my mother talked.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked them when I was sure it was over. "What does this mean for my future?"

"It means," Edward said softly, "that you have a choice."


	9. The Flaw in the Plan

As I woke, it occurred to me that my room had never felt so bone chillingly cold before. I pulled my running shorts on over my legs, began to search the room for my missing sneaker. While I did this, another thought struck me. I'd never felt more alone. It seemed I had two lifetimes now. My past, and my future. In the yesteryear, I'd read books, heard fairytales. I'd never harboured a particular fear of vampires…or werewolves, for that matter. And I wasn't necessarily sure I was afraid now. At this point I felt that the right word might be confused. Most of the anger had melted off during the night, and now a war ravaged me internally.

They would live forever.

The love I had for my mother, for Carlisle, my father, was unyielding, undying. I didn't want outlive them, to grow old and frail while they remained eternally young. Forever beautiful.

On the other hand, from all accounts, in everything I'd ever heard and read, becoming a vampire meant eternal damnation. Who, in their right mind would choose that?

Bella did. I mused. And so did my mother, to some degree. I sighed audibly. The more I thought about it the more I found I couldn't bring myself to believe someone like Carlisle, someone like Renessme, would ever be destined for an eternity in hell.

The knock that came to my door was so quiet, I wasn't completely sure I hadn't imagined it.

But none the less, I called out, "It's open."

Whomever I had expected to be there, I wasn't Edward. He gave my room a cursory glance, then met my piercing green eyes with his liquid butterscotch ones.

"Come for a drive with me." He asked slowly.

The question came off as more like a demand, and I was more confused than ever, but I found myself moving, digging the elusive shoe out from under my bed, and following him out the door.

He rarely ever used his lovely Aston Martin Vanquish. It was old, now, but was still worth more than my obnoxiously high weight in gold. I got in the passenger-side and fastened the seatbelt, and Edward was already effortlessly shifting the car into first. Damn, I wish I could get the hang of it like that.

"Whatsup?" I said nonchalantly. I didn't look at him; instead I was gazing out of the window at the trees that were speeding by.

"Paige, we need to talk."

"About?"

"A few things." He said, seriously. "I know you're curious, since I can read your mind."

I blinked. Was that a joke?

"No, I am not kidding."

He had to be. The legends said nothing about reading minds. And besides, If he could read minds, he'd tell me right now that..._Purple Key Fat Panda Fairy Face!_

"...Purple Key, Fat Panda, Fairy Face," he said, rolling his eyes. "I can read minds." He repeated. "Some vampires carry over some of their stronger...human attributes. I can read minds. Alice can see the future. Jasper can alter moods. Bella is a veritable shield to other vampire's powers." He laughed, "I couldn't read her mind when she was human. Of course she's immune to everything...Anyway, Paige. Now that you know that, I suggest you don't bother lying to me."

"Well I guess this explains why you always seem to know when I'm planning to buy my cigs." I said finally, not really sure what else to say.

Edward glanced at me. "I don't do it on purpose. If I could turn it off and on, I would. Mostly, I respect your privacy."

I snorted.

"However, your parents did ask me to see if there was any particular reason that you've been losing so much weight, lately."

I gasped, and realized what he was getting at. He knew how I was keeping off the pounds. I suddenly wanted to roll out of the car and off of a cliff.

"That's not an option," he said, all laughter gone from his face. But as though he didn't trust me, I heard the soft clicking of the door locks around me. "I asked you to come for a drive with me because I didn't want to be in the vast hearing range of our family. What you're doing is both unnecessary and unhealthy. You live in a family of immortal beauties, that much is true, but Paige," We had come to a stop, a scenic picnic area on the edge of the woods. He took my chin in his hand. "If ever there was a human beautiful enough to live with a clan of near perfect looking vampires, it's you."

I almost believed him.

"Seth certainly thinks so. I would know- I can read his mind, too."

I blushed, red hair falling into my face as I turned away from him, folding my arms.

"Listen. I know it's hard. Exercising and eating properly is fine. Great. But throwing up...It'll burn your throat and rot your teeth. I'm sure those would not be improvements. I am not intending this to sound threatening, and I apologize if you take this the wrong way, but you must stop. Or I will tell Carlisle, and he will tell your mother."

I started to shake my head; he pressed a finger to my lips.

"Don't pretend it isn't true. Because he will do anything for her. And we both know Arielle will be less than accepting of your new habit."

I swallowed. "Thanks for the heads up, Edward."

He smiled.

"Does Renessme have a power?" I asked, completely straying off topic.

"Nessie is only half of a vampire. I got Bella pregnant before she...changed. She can project images into your mind. She's a charismatic one, my daughter, your cousin…" His eyes were twinkling now, looking past me, to some other time. "I will leave it to her to show you what you've missed."

"Okay."

"One more thing," he said, as he started driving me back home.

"Yes?"

"Becoming a vampire is a big deal. I didn't let Bella make the choice under any light circumstance, and you also have time to think about it. If I get one hint from your mind that you are giving up your mortality for aesthetic purposes, I will see to it that you are not given the option. You are beautiful as a human, the only one who can't seem to see that is you."

He fell silent, and I grew worried. I hadn't really been thinking about it, but I suppose I was considering it subconsciously. How far into my mind could he delve? He didn't answer my silent question. Perhaps ignoring me, perhaps tuning me out. I didn't know. After all, I couldn't read his mind, and after he turned on Rachmaninoff, I couldn't read his expression, either.


	10. Broken

Author's Note: Well, it occured to me yesterday that I've been really lacking in the A/N department, and not been giving credit where credit is due. So, that being said, major thanks and props go out to Rose and Allison, because without them, my writing would be utter crap, and I would have probably given up midway through the second chapter. These oh so talented losers can be found right here on , pennames, Permanent Rose and Team Graecisso, respectively. Read their stuff, because it's awesome.

* * *

I was breathless before I'd gotten halfway back to the house. I'd tacked an extra mile onto my run, and a dull ache burned in the back of my throat. I downed half my water bottle before my stomach lurched. I braced myself against a tree, using my left hand to keep my hair out of my face. My vision was blurred, and I wasn't sure how long it had taken for it to subside. When I finally could see straight, I found myself glancing down.

Was that blood? Without a doubt, I knew it was. I was disgusted with myself, yet I couldn't tear my eyes away. I looked at my left hand, a chunk of my hair had come out, and I was sure I hadn't pulled that hard, and my scalp didn't ache as though I had yanked it out. And now, I was terrified. I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head. Well, it wasn't that much. I convinced myself. And after the conversation I had with Edward yesterday, I knew I couldn't tell anyone, less they think this was more serious then they had originally believed. I swished my mouth with the rest of the water, and spit it out.

Once again, steady on my feet, I headed for home.

As I made the final turn up the driveway, I was pleased to see Seth's rusted F150 in our driveway, and even more pleased to see that he was leaning up against it. He crossed his arms over his chest, dragged a hand lazily through his raven black hair. He was talking animatedly with Edward, whose eyes flickered towards me, and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

"Get out of my head!" I hissed at him through gritted teeth.

"Sorry." He muttered. But I could tell from the smile he still wore that he wasn't the least bit sorry. When I blinked, he was gone.

"I'm glad you're back. I have a surprise for you."

My eyebrows shot up. "I don't want anything." I whispered as I blushed.

"Too bad." He responded with a wicked grin.

His smile brought a horrid thought to my mind. "Seth, it better not be anything…" what was the word I was looking for? "raunchy…" I finished in an embarrassed whisper.

Seth laughed loudly; the simple sound of it relaxed me. "Why do you care?"

"Because they'd all know!" I complained. "Stupid mind reading vampire."

Quickly, he'd spun me around, pressing my back into the truck. "Let them watch."

And he was kissing me then, his tongue toying with mine, tempting me to plunge deeper. He pleasured himself by tasting the line of my throat, pressing his lips to the pulse that hammered there. Nibbling on the sensitive flesh of my jaw until he felt the first quick helpless shudder pass through me. Then he was diving more deeply, more desperately when our mouths met again.

"Come on" he whispered taking my hand as we finally broke apart. I followed him in somewhat of a stupor into the house. Carlisle smiled at me as we darted past, and I felt my cheeks flame again.

"Ohmygod."

"Why do you even care, Paige?"

I wrinkled my nose. "It's weird to think about…the fact that my three hundred seventy-five year old father knows I was just being…well… ravaged in the front yard."

"You think in all that time he's never seen anyone being kissed? Or that he doesn't kiss your mother?"

"Gross." I muttered, jabbing my finger into his stomach. "That was a low blow kid."

He pushed open my bedroom door, saying nothing else. He'd taken the comforter off my bed, and laid it on the floor; spread an indoor picnic across it. I was instantly touched, and I felt tears well in the back of my eyes, threaten to spill over.

"What's the matter?" he asked quickly, eyes wide with concern.

"Nothing," I sniffled tightening my grip around his hand. "I know why you did this. I'm touched that you care enough."

With his sleeve, he wiped the corner of my eye. "You have no idea how much."

As we sat on the floor, I rested my head against his chest. He handed me half a sandwich, I dutifully took a bite, knowing the entire house was watching. _See that, you buttinski vampires,_ I thought loudly. _I'm eating_.

"You shouldn't be doing it for them though"

"Seth, I…" what was I going to say? I want to be good enough for you? I want to measure up to them? "Forget it."

"I can't read your mind." He said easily with a soft smile. "So tell me what you're thinking."

I sighed. "I guess part of me knows I'm being stupid. But at the same time, I know I can't keep up with, well even with you without trying twice as hard to look good."

"You're right. You're being stupid."

I laughed shakily, and set the food down. The small amount I'd ingested seemed to be too much, and I felt my system revolt. I took three deep breaths, reminding myself that everyone would know. That Carlisle had such high standards of me, that I'd be disappointing him. I closed my eyes, letting Seth hold me close, wondering what was wrong with me.

Sensing the change in my demeanor, he changed the subject. "So Edward mentioned baseball…"

"Alice says it's going to rain." I rolled my eyes. "Apparently thunder imperative for vampire baseball."

He laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. "I'd forgotten you hadn't seen them play. You'll enjoy it."

"You'll come?" I pleaded

"Of course. Hell, Me and Jake, we carry that team."

I felt more relived. And as if on cue, thunder rolled in the distance. I stood slowly, and held out my hand for him to take. "Then, prove it."

* * *

"Maybe I should talk to her…"

"Carlisle, I promised her I wasn't even going to tell you." Edward sighed, glancing at his father. "You must know it broke my dead heart to break my word."

"A gentleman's word can be broken for this, Edward. This is serious. I don't think you understand the grave medical implications of this illness."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I think I understand just fine. I have but two medical degrees at last count. Sorry it doesn't match up to your expertise." He said, coldly.

"That's not what I meant." He exhaled and sat down roughly. "What would you do if it was Renessme?"

He bit down on his lip. "I hardly think Nessie would do anything like that."

"And Bella?" Carlisle said, brows arching quizzically upward. "When Bella was a human, you knew she held herself in ill standards, compared to us, compared to you. If she had resorted to purging her body after every meal?"

Edward had no response. It seemed to him a perfectly feasible possibility. He shuddered. "I do understand, yes."

Carlisle nodded. "I've always considered you all to be my children, but Paige is the only one that was ever truly a child, in every sense of the word. And the only one that's breakable. I can protect her from outside influences, from the world. But even when she was five, plagued by nightmares…I couldn't protect her from herself."

"The one thing you can't prevent." Edward said eyes gloomy.

"It's like the whole Preston situation all over again. I feel powerless. I despise that. But it's worse, far worse, because I feel like to some degree, this is my fault."

"Your logic is flawed."

Carlisle sighed again. "I brought her into this mess. Literally. I am solely responsible."

"Yes, because you did it on purpose. You wanted to subject her to our absolute perfection so she would feel each and every tiny inadequacy, notice every miniscule flaw. It could not have been about saving her from a physically abusive home, then, no?"

Carlisle opened his mouth to say more, but bit back his retort when he heard Paige and Seth bounding down the stairs.

* * *

"So, Seth's doing some trash talking." I said on a laugh, but my face fell when I sensed the tension in the room. My eyes narrowed, scanned the room.

"What about?" Edward asked casually.

"Oh." I shook it off, perhaps I had overreacted. "He claims he and Jake carry you guys when you play baseball"

"Is that so?" Emmett called from the kitchen.

"You know it's true!" Jake hollered from somewhere in the depths of the house

"Game on, then pup!"

We drove to the very same clearing that Edward had taken me to the day before. Jake and Emmett continued to good naturedly berate each other, individually claiming superiority.

"It's too bad Alice can't see the outcome, because then we'd know for sure that whatever team I'm on would win."

The cars emptied quickly, and a makeshift field was created before my eyes. Carlisle, Edward, Arielle, Jake, Nessie and Rosalie formed one team, while Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Bella, and Seth made the other.

I volunteered to keep score, and climbed into a tiny tree to get a better view. Thunder cracked in the distance, clouds danced across the sky. Carlisle took, what seemed like a natural position for him, on the pitchers mound. He gave me a quick glance, a tiny wink, and threw the ball.

It was like a tiny trace of light, if that, a blur that hurtled its way toward Jasper's bat. I started to think that there was absolutely no way he'd hit it, but no sooner had the notion escaped my mind, then there was a loud cracking that sent my hands flying to cover my ears.

"Home run." I whispered on a whistle.

Bella laughed from her position on third base, and called out to me. "I said the same thing once. Just wait."

Edward had disappeared, and Jasper was rounding the bases, an indistinct mass of colour that watching made me slightly light headed. The speck of white had somehow found its way into Nessie's outstretched hands, just before Jasper touched home plate.

"Out." I called incredulous.

Emmett uttered a stream of oaths, I saw Carlisle's eyes narrow, and my uncles mouth snapped shut.

I gave myself over to the game, finding I needed to pay extremely close attention, for it seemed everyone cheated wildly. My human eyes took a fair amount of abuse, it was claimed that I had missed important plays because I just couldn't see well enough. I stood by my calls, ignoring the endless rubs. Apparently I had favored my mother, and then given Seth an easy pass. I was secretly glad they were on opposite teams, because at least then I wasn't accused of rooting for one side over the other. I was simply out to get everyone. And to my surprise, Carlisle, of all people, was the biggest cheater. He pitched a dirty game, somehow adding an insane amount of spin to the ball, forcing shorter hits. Everyone knew it, but I found it so damn funny that I couldn't seem to call him out on it.

As the final inning rolled around, I was sad to see it end, for I had enjoyed it a lot. But at the same time, perhaps from watching people travel at speeds my eyes weren't equipped to handle, I was really dizzy, and somewhat nauseous. Suddenly, my breath caught in my throat, as a chill washed over my body, blackness took me under.

* * *

It pratcially happened in slow motion. Carlisle had thrown the ball and turned to grin at Arielle, when he heard the increase in her heart rate, saw her slip off the tree branch. Paige was falling; her back arched unnaturally gracefully, her hair flying untamed around her. The drop was not a high one, but everyone was thankful that Seth had been close enough by to catch her.

"Carlisle! She's not breathing!" someone screamed.

But he was already forcing air into her lungs, trying desperately to stabilize her overworked heart.

"Damn it, try harder." Arielle muttered

Paige took a shuddering breath on her own, and everyone exhaled, relieved. Her heart was still racing, fighting the lack of strength in her tiny body.

Carlisle snarled, "It's not enough! And if I go any harder, I'll break her ribs. She's too damn fragile." He inhaled, searching for the calm, turned to Edward. "I need to get her back to the house to start a central line. It's a cardiovascular collapse." He continued to compress her chest, uttering silent prayers.

"What can I do?"

"Run back, get it set up. I have to drive because I can't carry her, I'll be too slow."

He nodded, and was gone in a flash. Carlisle lifted the child into his arms, climbed into the backseat of the Mercedes, tossed the keys to Seth.

"Drive." He ordered. And they took off for home, fast as light.


	11. Now or Never

The light flickered feebly, though I wasn't fully conscious of my surroundings. Voices broke around me, and I caught wisps of conversation.

"Heart rate is stabilizing." It sounded like Bella, possibly. I couldn't distinguish it.

"Not out of the woods yet." That was unmistakably the dulcet tones of my father. He sounded grave, more terrified than I had ever heard him in my entire life.

The first thing I noticed was the pain in the back of my head, followed by the steady beeping from the machine next to me. I forced my eyes open, and the scarves fluttering above my face told me I was in my own room. How had I gotten here? The last thing I remembered was feeling dizzy in the tree. I must have fallen.

"What…what happened?"

Everyone around me forced a smile; I felt the tears leak out of the corners of my eyes. Carlisle's face went soft. "Leave us for a moment." He asked quietly.

"No."

I searched for the source of the dissent, and wasn't surprised to find it had come from my mother. She stood in the back of the room, arms crossed; her eyes were cold and full of steel.

"If you think I'm going anywhere…" she trailed off, as everyone else filed from the room.

It looked for a moment as though Carlisle was undergoing an internal struggle, trying to decide what was best for me. I wished, just for this moment, that_ he_ could read my mind, and know that I desperately wanted to be left alone. Edward must have known, but if he did, he didn't say anything. He was gone before I could catch his attention.

"I need to talk to her, and I think this would be easier if we had some privacy."

I think my mother sensed it was a losing fight, because she said nothing more, and turned on her heel to leave.

Carlisle sighed strangely. I couldn't tell what the sigh signified... exasperation? frustration? relief? He sat on the end of the bed. "First of all, you're suffering from anemia. Anemia is a blood disorder that's created by malnutrition. You also have a 7 millimeter Mallory-Weiss tear…which is a cut in the tissue of the esophagus, and it is very dangerous, Paige." He bit down on his lip, searching for words. "There was blood in your vomit this morning." It wasn't a question, but I nodded, confirming his words. "These are all common in patients with anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. They can not go untreated."

I was suddenly conscious of all the wires poking and prodding their way out of my arms. "Ouch." I whispered, tearing up at the sight of them.

"I'm going to ask you a question. And don't lie to me."

I swallowed, nodding my head.

"How much do you weigh?"

The question I feared most. I knew the answer, but I was afraid if I admitted it, he would laugh at me. Obviously I had collapsed, and when I told him what I weighed, he wouldn't understand why. Or maybe all this stemmed from being overweight. That was possible.

"Ninety-two pounds."

He gasped audibly. "I blame myself."

"I…I don't understand." I admitted honestly.

"Not only did I bring you here, into this mess, but it was my choice to keep the truth from you. I truly believed that I was doing you right all along, protecting you."

"Carlisle…" How could I go from being so resentful of a lie one day, to being totally guilty the next?

He lifted my right hand, the one without the wires and needles, and took it in his own. "Please, just listen to me. Your entire cardiovascular system collapsed today, because you have been starving yourself- quite literally wasting away to nothing. Stemming from the idea that you didn't feel you could match up to us. Because I was insistent on keeping the truth from you. And that wasn't my place."

"You couldn't have stopped this." I whispered. "And if there was ever a time where I felt guilty about what I was doing, or what I was not doing, it was when I would think of how you would react if you knew."

"Why?" he asked me stunned.

I laughed. The simple fact that he couldn't understand, considering his age, considering how much he'd been through amazed me. "Because if anyone instilled values in me it was you."

"Arielle, your mother," he corrected "has without a doubt expressed her morals to you. I know she's tried very hard to impress upon you everything she knows, everything she believes."

"You misunderstand. I love my mother. But she and I are too alike for me to succeed in learning from her sometimes." I winced slightly. "I always listened to you."

He stood up slowly, trying not to shake the bed, and yanked my mirror off the wall. "Listen to me now." He held the pane of glass up where I could clearly see my own reflection in it. "What do you see?"

I considered it for a moment. There were heavy circles under my eyes, my cheeks were hallow and sunken in. The green of my irises that had once been so piercing looked weak and faded. My skin was deathly pale. Even my fiery hair looked dead. I reached out, and the girl in the mirror did the same. I touched my palm to hers; our hands were nothing but bones. "It doesn't look like me."

He set the mirror down, returned to his spot on the bed. I wondered how much room my wires would allow me. I decided to test them, and fought through the pain, crawling into his lap.

"Carlisle…Dad. I'm so sorry."

* * *

Arielle lay curled on her bed, feeling cold for the first time since she'd become a vampire. With a sigh, she turned over, and caught sight of her reflection in the window. With all the force she had in her body, she ripped her shoes off and hurtled them at the glass, effectively shattering it. They hit a tree in the backyard, and she heard them crack that as well.

"Fuck." She muttered.

"I am not overly fond of that word, love."

She rolled over again, and stood, facing her husband. His eyes were grave, his actions marked exhaustion. There was steel in her eyes, ice in her words. "I told you. I _fucking_ told you. And you said I was overreacting."

"I was wrong."

"That makes it better." She spat bitterly. "That makes everything go away."

"Would it help if I admitted you were right as opposed to my being wrong?"

"Maybe." She said with a weak smile.

"Well, you were. Completely and totally correct." He held out a hand, she took it, moved into the comfort of his embrace.

"Is she sleeping?"

"No." Carlisle whispered, shaking his head. "Seth is with her, and they wanted to be left alone."

He brushed her hair back, dragging a finger through it. "She's going to be okay though…right?"

"If she won't eat on her own, I'll take her to the hospital, and insert a feeding tube. I'll _make sure_ she's alright."

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" he asked softly, a quizzical look etched across his face.

"Doubting you cared for her. Even for a second."

Carlisle pressed his lips to her forehead, inhaled. "The worst is over now."

* * *

"I want to yell and scream" Seth paused, waited a beat while I continued to stare blankly at him. "and throw things." He continued. "and if I thought for one measly second that doing any of that would help, I'd do it in a heartbeat. So since I can't seem to think up any solutions on my own, tell me what you need Paige. Tell me, and I swear on the stars, I'll get it for you."

Despite myself, I laughed. "Just come lay here."

"I don't want to…" he gestured wildly around, indicating the tubes and wires jutting from my body, "hurt you" he finished weakly.

I felt my eyes narrow, the line of my lips grow thin. "I'd rather not repeat myself." I said softly, and slid far over to one side of the bed, creating plenty of room for his tall, gangly frame. Without further argument, he joined me, wrapping a warm arm around my waist. It was an amazingly pleasant feeling, for I don't think I'd realized how cold I really was.

"You've been spending too much time with vampires…"

My eyebrows shot up, a curious expression crossed my face. "Why's that?"

"You're like a giant ice cube."

I forced a laugh. "Well, I think Carlisle might blame my body temperature on my eating habits and a whole bunch of other medical stuff rather than vampire-ness." I grinned as my words set in, making sense. "But, you know, it was a nice thought."

"Right" he said softly. "Sorta forgot. Sorta on purpose."

I really smiled then, even though mostly, I felt like crying. "Are you angry with me?"

He sighed, and I feared the answer that was to come. "Not in the least. Though I wonder if I could have prevented it."

"It seems everyone is wondering that." I mused. "Everyone is blaming themselves, instead of putting the blame where it belongs."

"And where's that, exactly?" he asked suspiciously.

"With me." I said simply. Seth looked mutinous, outraged, as I'd expected. So, when he opened his mouth to speak, I pressed a finger to it. "See, the thing is, in the beginning, I knew it was wrong. And I knew I should have stopped it then."

"Why…why didn't you?" he asked me quietly, though I could tell he regretted speaking at all.

"I was, and still am, far too vain. I forced myself to see only the short term."

I vaguely wondered when that had changed. When my shallow temporary goals had affected my future. And as I thought about it, the realization hit me, that it had been the first moment I had laid eyes on Seth. Deepened only by the unbridled passion of our first kiss. The reality of the situation was staggering. I was in love with him. And now that I knew it, the words seemed to hurt, because I wondered if I had the strength to tell him. I wondered if he could ever feel the same way.

"If you had died today," he whispered. "I would have done everything in my power to join you."

His sudden announcement had me floored. After taking a moment to recover, I spoke. "I thought… I thought you couldn't die."

He barked a laugh tightening his grip around me. "It's much easier to kill a werewolf than a vampire."

"Oh" I muttered lamely. "So hypothetically, if we were to lets say…fall in love…" I knew I was testing thin ice there, but I couldn't help myself. "and I grew old, you'd consider suicide to be with me?" I knew I looked horrified at the thought of it.

"No, silly. I'd grow old with you."

I felt stupid gain, like I'd missed something big. "How? I mean, is that possible?"

"Hypothetically, if I was to find someone I cared about enough, I could choose to age, to return to mortality."

I felt my cheeks flame, and my face fall. His re-use of the word hypothetically was a reminder that of course he hadn't really been talking about me. It was stupid and romantic to imagine that he had been considering giving up anything for me, even for just a moment.

"But I wouldn't do that," he continued, bashing the tiny shred of hope I held onto. "if she for some reason picked life as an immortal. Like, say, chose to become a vampire."

My heart soared. And I was kissing him then, like never before, lips moving with slight sensuality.

"I have to tell you though," Seth whispered as we broke apart. "If she was to choose that life over the one she currently has, I might be slightly disappointed."

"Why?" I asked on a giggle, unable to mask the stupid grin encompassing on my face.

"I've always wanted to grow old with the woman I love."

My breath caught in my chest. Did he just admit what I thought he did? Surely not. But I was going to delude myself into thinking he had. Just for a moment longer.

"Well, there's something to be said for spending eternity together also."

"And that's why it doesn't matter what she picks. As long as she stays with me."

"Seth, I love you." I'd spit out the words without thinking, and now could only await the consequences.

"I know, Paige. And you need to know that I feel the same way. With every breath I take."

A comfortable sense overtook my body then, and I was simply elated. Although I could also feel the exhaustion creeping in, I wasn't willing to let the moment end. But my body betrayed me, and I yawned widely, squeezing my eyes shut. When I glanced towards Seth, I found he too, looked tired.

"Stay here." I pleaded. "I don't want to sleep alone."

He nodded, not even bothering to protest as I'd expected, simply rolled over, flicking off the light. I turned over as well, into him, settling deep into his embrace. In a place that I seemed to fit in perfectly, and followed him into slumber.


	12. One Step Closer

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's helped. I owe you guys big time.

* * *

I was confined to my room, a prisoner, in what I'd once considered to be my sanctuary, for the next few weeks. I had an endless stream of people pouring in to see me, or rather to ensure I was eating. Edward especially, kept close by. I knew he was reading my thoughts, invading my head. And while, I also knew, somewhere inside, that he hated encroaching on my privacy; I couldn't help but resent it, and therefore, him as well.

The green had returned to my eyes, some color had resumed its place in my skin. I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I felt like my face was rounding out again, and I was completely horrified at the thought that my weight would soon cross the threshold of triple digits again. I tried to keep these thoughts in check, because deep down, I wanted to get better. And because I knew my every move was being scrutinized.

For the first time in my life, I longed to get out of my room. I wanted to be outside, where it was snowing lightly. I wanted the wind on my face, the ice in my hair. I just wanted to be. Gone. Anywhere. Today, the whole family was going hunting, and Carlisle had promised me that while they were gone today, if my health seemed adequate in the morning, that I could have free reign of the house and the yard. A whole day, alone with Seth, free of my IV's and machines. I was determined to make it work.

And I was still enjoying the thrill of knowing that someone like Seth could love me. It was like riding a roller coaster of emotions, and I wasn't sure I ever wanted to get off. As that thought rocked through my brain, Seth's voice interrupted it.

"Happy 17th birthday, Paige"

My head whipped towards the door, where I saw my whole family was gathered, huge sloppy smiles plastered to their faces.

"My birthday isn't until December 12th." I reminded them, rolling my eyes.

"Wow, Paige." Renessme said with a giggle. "You need to get out more."

"Or at least buy a calendar." Jake finished.

I thought about it for a minute, mentally counting the days I'd spent locked away. They were, of course, right. Somehow, it had become December. And I was seventeen. Now my promised freedom made sense. They weren't going to keep me cooped up on my birthday.

"Sweet." I declared, when I realized they were all waiting for me to say something. I turned my attention to Edward. "I'm the same age as you now!"

A peal of laughter rang through the room, and Edward said nothing, simply arched an eyebrow.

"Okay, I guess not really" I admitted. "Still, it was fun to think for a moment."

"Don't you want your stuff?" Emmett interrupted loudly.

"There's stuff too?" I asked, unable to hide my excitement. "I thought my present was being allowed to go outside today."

"That's a reward for listening to us. It was just lucky that it worked out today." Carlisle said kindly.

My eyes brightened as Alice trusted a huge box into my hands. It was almost bigger than I was, the sheer size floored me, and I wasn't sure what it could possibly contain.

"Open it!" she squealed. Jasper braced a hand on her shoulder. She pouted, and spoke again, though much more softly. "I wanted to throw a party…but they wouldn't let me."

I saw my mother's face fall. "I thought it was best… considering everything."

I laughed. "I didn't even remember what day it was, remember? I'm not terribly disappointed I can't have a party on top of … whatever this monster gift is."

"Will you open it already?" Jacob demanded

I sighed, and began to tear the paper off the box. I felt my jaw detach from my chin, as I stared at the label. Gibson. They'd bought me a guitar. And a damn good one at that.

"Wow. Thanks." I muttered taking the delicate instrument from its protective casing, running my hand over the steel of the strings, the wood of the body. It was a deep blue colour, and it contoured elegantly, flaring in the classic bell shape at its bottom. My fingers pressed into the metal, two in the second fret, one in the third. A simple D chord. Though I didn't have a pick, I strummed anyway, letting the sound reverberate within the wood.

"Cool." I whispered, and again found my attention focused on Edward. "You'll teach me?"

"Of course." He replied easily. "You've always held the same fascination with music that I have. If anyone could appreciate this, it would be you."

I glanced around my room where CD's lay stacked haphazardly about. Confined to my room for three weeks in a very bad mood, I really hadn't bothered to tidy up after myself, so my usually organized chaos was simply chaos. There was a lot of music around though, it was something I'd always been able to sink myself into, somewhat of an escape. I remembered the piano lessons I'd begged for when I was younger, and how next to Renessme, I'd struggled so much. But I was determined to play as well as she could, and some day as well as her father. I didn't feel so inadequate now that I knew he'd spent decades learning, as opposed to the years I'd once believed.

"Am I really allowed to go outside?" I asked suddenly.

Carlisle moved closer to me then, checking the monitors, making little clicking sounds with his mouth. "I think so," he finally announced "after you eat." He turned his attention to Seth. "Make sure she does. I hate that we need to leave, but we postponed this hunting trip to ensure her health…" He disconnected the needle then, placing a bandage on the puncture.

"Nah, I get it." Seth responded quickly.

"We won't be going far." Jasper added.

And my mother tossed a small smile in my direction, and led the procession out of my room.

* * *

The Cullens were hunting closer to their home than usual on the off chance that Paige and Seth needed help. Their pace had been a medium amble, until a snowball collided with force into Emmett's back.

"Who threw that?!" He roared, turning around with a grin.

To the snickering vampire's horror- he, too, had an arsenal of snowballs clutched in his arms. With unmatched strength, he hurled them at Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie. Alice had foreseen this, taking Bella with her as she dove out of the way. Carlisle and Arielle were up ahead, laughing as inner children of their vampire kin came out to play.

"Race you to the spot, Emmett..." Jasper smiled.

By the time Emmett said "You're on!" Edward was already seconds ahead of them, both.

Rosalie joined in, catching up with Emmett as she laughed.

"So, who's going to win?" Bella asked Alice, quickening their pace to catch up with Carlisle and Arielle.

"Three guesses."

"Edward." Carlisle, Arielle, and Bella chimed together.

Alice merely chuckled.

As it turned out, Edward did win, though Emmett was vehemently protesting his ample head start.

"There's one way to settle this," Carlisle declared.

"Wrestling?" Emmett asked, putting Edward into a headlock.

Carlisle's wizened face contorted with suppressed laughter- the look on Edward's face was priceless. After all, it was a rarity to surprise a mind reader. "No, let's just see who's the quicker hunter."

Emmett dropped Edward to the ground, pumping his fists in the air. "I will OWN you, Edward!"

With that, they went their separate ways, in couples, in search of predators to prey upon.

* * *

Silence ensued in the house, I watched from the window as they raced each other into the forest.

"So, I didn't know what to get you." Seth whispered "But then, I figured, since you didn't even know it was your birthday, that it really doesn't matter."

I chuckled, and raced into his outstretched arms. "You're here, and that's enough." I stood on my balls of my feet, touching my lips to his. "Let's go play in the snow."

"You heard Carlisle. Food first, games later." I pouted, he flashed a brilliant grin. "Besides, I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry." I complained, but dutifully followed him down the stairs, and ate the eggs he prepared.

"Going outside was enough of a bribe to get you to eat? I wish I'd know that sooner." He mused.

I stuck out my tongue, and grabbed my coat off the hook on the wall. I danced in the snow, letting it catch in my hair. I sped through the snow, kicking up mists of white, before stopping and falling on my back. I laid there, spread eagle, staring up at the sky until a face moved into my view, black eyes laughing down at me.

"What are you doing, Paige?"

"Making an angel" I informed him, returning his smile. "You see, you fall down, then you move your arms and legs like this" I demonstrated for him, and my smile faded. "The trick is to get up without making a mess of it. Takes good balance." I stood, putting my weight on my heels, teetering slightly. I jumped clear, then turned back to admire my own handiwork. "You see," I stated with a certain amount of arrogance in my voice. "An angel"

"Beautiful," he agreed "You're very talented." He touched my lips with his, stilling the laughter. "We don't do this nearly often enough" he muttered against my mouth, deepening the kiss until my senses whirled. "You've snow all over your face."

And before I could say another word, he'd swept me off my feet, carried me back into the house, up the three flights of stairs back into my bedroom. It no longer seemed like a prison, as it had just hours earlier. Once again, it was my haven, my safe place, as long as Seth was with me.

He'd set me down, though I wasn't sure when, as I couldn't seem to feel my feet. My arms felt heavy, and I let them fall to my sides. I felt free. It was a lovely sensation as his lips trailed gently over my knuckles. "Shouldn't you be groping me or something?"

A laugh, even the weak one he provided soothed some of my nerves. "I'll get to it." He slipped my shirt over my head; let it drift to the floor. I was all subtle curves, strong angles, my skin glowed gold in the soft light. "You're beautiful." He muttered.

I closed my eyes, my cheeks flames. "Whenever you talk, I feel as though I can't get my breath."

"Beautiful" he repeated, and cupped a hand to the back of my neck, drawing me closer. His fingers combed up, my hair tumbled down. We fell backwards onto the bed, and I sighed. I wasn't conscious of when my pants had come off, and didn't really care.

"Let me have you, Paige. Hold on to me, and let me have you."

I gave up my innocence without regret, with a smile curving my lips as I matched him stroke for stroke. In his eyes I saw need, focused only and fully on me. When I looked deeper, I saw myself, reflected back in them, lost in them.

And this, I thought, as he buried his face in my hair, as we rode the steady peak, was true beauty.


	13. Chosen

The silence was gone when I woke. I could hear the indistinct noises of people moving about floors bellow me. And a wave of fear raced through my system. I moved to stand, but Seth tightened the grip he held around my waist.

"Where are you going?" he whispered.

"They're home?!" I yelled softly, my voice an octave higher than usual.

"So they are. And they have been for hours."

"They…what? Do they know?"

He sighed and cracked open one eye. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes."

"Shit" was my simple response.

Seth smirked. "Well, you can't have expected them not to find out." He pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. "Not when Edward can see the whole thing in his head like a movie."

"That's…that's just gross."

"But, true."

I found it was my turn to sigh. "It's going to be bad…isn't it?"

Seth shrugged, and gave up trying to sleep. He sat, and I mirrored him. "Don't be so sure. When Carlisle came up to check on you earlier, he didn't look mad."

I felt my cheeks flame. "My dad was here? While I was…" I choked over the next word, finally forcing myself to spit it out. "naked, in bed with you?"

"Yup," he smiled, and I smacked him on the back of his head. He wrinkled his nose, and rubbed it gently. "But, I told you, he didn't look mad!"

Despite myself, I exhaled, and stood, dragging my too large jeans over my hips. "Well, maybe I can distract them." I thought aloud.

"You're sure as hell distracting me right now." He muttered under his breath.

I leaned over, gently pressed my mouth over his. "You're a hell of a lot easier to distract than they are." I pulled my sweater on, and tossed him his pants. "Get dressed, I'm going to distract them with news."

"What sort of news?" He asked slyly.

"The kind for me to know, and you to find out."

"Woman, you will be the key to my undoing." He muttered, but did as I asked and pulled on his pants.

"It's my ultimate goal in life." I teased with a sheepish grin. And finally dressed, we made our way downstairs.

* * *

"I won't yell at her." Arielle stated adamantly. "Really, I can't. Not after everything I was doing when I was her age."

"Not that I'm complaining…" Carlisle murmured, "But what brought about this new line of thinking?"

She shrugged, and gracefully sat down on the couch, crossing one leg over the other. He moved next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I just got to thinking that maybe my over protectiveness was the cause of everything. And…he's good for her. Like you are for me." She twisted the small sliver band she wore around her left index finger. As it turned she could feel the words inscribed inside. _immer in meinherz _Forever in my heart. "Everyone needs a hero." She finished softly.

"Even those usually considered as being bad?"

"Especially." She pushed a loose wisp of hair away from her husband's eye. "Damned by all accounts…they need a hero most."

"Is that what you think?" he whispered, mildly horrified. "Can you honestly believe there's nothing after this?"

"I don't know. Carlisle, the simple fact is before you, I believed love was connected with pain. That the best place for my child was with another family. I couldn't believe there was a god when I hadn't done anything wrong… and yet still I was being violently punished."

"Oh, Arielle." There was pure unadulterated anguish in his voice. He opened his mouth to say more, but she silenced him by pressing a kiss to his lips.

"And now…well now, I don't know what to believe. But I know I love you, and I know that means you'll never hurt me. For now, it's enough."

"Survival on love alone?" He asked curiously.

"It's gotten us this far. And from here…we'll just have to take the rest as it comes."

* * *

As Seth and I descended the stairs, I heard Carlisle whispering. "Survival on love alone?"

And my mother's simple, yet perfect response. "It's gotten us this far. And from here…we'll just have to take the rest as it comes."

I couldn't help but smile. I'd once been jealous of what my parents had, longing desperately for it myself. But now, as I tilted my face upwards, watched as sunlight streaked through the window, danced its way in ribbons across Seth's face, I felt nothing but a swell of happiness. For some odd reason, I was fascinated with the beating of his heart. I watched the tremor of movement in his throat and counted the beats. My imagination swept me into his chest, to that powerful spot of romance, and I thought: _This heart is mine. I, alone have the power to make it beat with happiness or with misery._ It was a sobering moment for a young girl. He leaned down, I used my toes to reach up, before his lips could meet mine, however, I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.

"Don't you think you've had enough for one day?" Edward asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope." Seth joked with a big grin.

"I think, perhaps, you have." There was steel in his words, the smile melted off Seth's face.

"Chill." I muttered.

"Chill?" he repeated. "My sixteen year old niece has premarital sex…with a boy three times her age…neither one of them can stop thinking about it, and I'm supposed to chill?"

"Incorrigible. Unreasonable. You're being an ass." I sighed, inhaled, and spoke again. "This is none of your business."

"What goes on in this house is very much my business."

"What happened to respecting my privacy?"

"There's a line, Paige. Some things cannot be ignored."

I nodded, and pretended to look around. "Where's the line? Because I really can't tell what thoughts I'm allowed to have to myself. So I need you to tell me."

"Babe, just let it go. He means well."

I blew out a breath. "Everyone in the living room." I said it softly, though I knew the whole house would hear me. The glowering look on Edward's face melted away slightly when he realized exactly what I was about to say.

It was as if they materialized before me, settling in their familiar positions about the room.

"So," I began, unsure how exactly to say what I was thinking. "I made my choice."

"Don't you think you ought to give this more thought?" Bella said softly.

Edward looked at her, one eyebrow arched. "You of all people cannot lecture about the possibility of rushing into immortality."

Bella scoffed at him, her beautiful face lovely even in anger. "I didn't rush into anything. You saw to that."

"You certainly would have. And I think we should hear the girl out." He finished with a flourish, and a smile in my direction, apparently forgetting how he had just berated me moments earlier.

I rolled my eyes, and continued. "The more I think about it, about everything surrounding my life, and everything I've recently learned, the more I'm sure about the choice I've made. I want to remain human. And I know I'll be giving up forever with those I love. But I figure, after everything, I've learned to accept what I have. I was happy with it before, and I'll be happy with it now." I turned to Seth. "I'll be happy growing old with you."

Their reactions were mixed. Emmett was moaning, Rosalie was beaming. But I'd expected that. In the crowd, I searched for the two reactions I was most concerned about. My mother held onto Carlisle, she was smiling, though she looked as though she was about to cry as well. To an untrained eye, my father appeared expressionless. But I'd seen him make that face often enough to know he was pleased, perhaps even proud. And as I felt Seth's arm snake itself around my waist, I knew it was right, knew it was enough.


	14. You Thought Wrong

Author's Note: As usual, couldn't have done it without the aid of Team Graecisso. Thanks Lis. You rock.

* * *

"Hey, Edward?"

"Seth?" said Edward, indifferently.

Seth's jovial expression faltered for only a second. "Listen, Edward. I'm sorry if Paige and I offended you. But you know as well as I do that I can never leave her...Marriage is only a matter of time…"

Edward sighed. "I know, Seth, but I expected a certain magnitude of...respect? Of... a gentleman's discretion?"

"Alright, Alright, but we don't all have the same self control as you, you know." argued Seth, defensively. "And I wasn't raised in the early 20th century, either."

"Self control." snorted Edward. He sighed at Seth's raised eyebrow. "You'll have to forgive me, Seth. It is hardly my place to judge. She is yours, and you hers. You must understand, though, it's hard. I'm protective of her...and to hear your thoughts...both of you. The disgraceful things you think of. I've been here for circa a century and I haven't even heard of half of the positions you've imagined up." he blanched.

Seth stifled his grin, biting his lip. "Listen, Edward. Speaking of the mind reading thing...You must know what Paige wants for Christmas. Do you think you could help me out?"

"I think it's best to ask Alice- I often misinterpret these kinds of things."

Asking Alice was a mistake. Not in the fact that she was clueless or uncaring, but quite the opposite. Due to recent stressful events, Alice had been completely distracted. Seth's innocent question brought raging life back into Alice's eyes. It was because of her renewed passion for the upcoming holidays that everyone save for Paige was sheparded into the nearest mall.

Carlisle and Nessie only escaped because they had other duties- work and school. Even Arielle was forced to come along. Usually, Alice's shopping excursions were lengthy and painful, but not today. she was laid back and happy, letting everyone split into twos, Arielle and Seth accompanying Bella and Edward, being the odd couple.

Bella was playing with some smells in a New Age shop- Renesmee was a huge fan of incense and fragrance. Arielle was happily informing her of her favourites when Edward sniggered.

"What, you don't agree?" Arielle asked indignantly.

"No, the pineapple blend is truly exotic, but so is that bathing suit." Edward was pointing across the way, to the store directly opposite to them. Through the glass, Alice was plainly daring Emmett to try on an obnoxious neon bikini. Refusing to refuse, Emmett had obliged, and was now trotting around the store with the clerk chasing after him. Bella, Seth, and Arielle joined Edward in silent fits of giggles, which only multiplied when Alice was return-dared to wear the ugliest, frumpiest suit in the store. Her face was sour until they left the shop, all but Rosalie empty handed.

After that, they walked in opposite directions, browsing through every store they passed. Bella had, of course, taken refuge in an Indie bookstore, and had to be all but yanked out of the store with a combined effort from Edward and Arielle. The vampires passed the food court without a second glance, but Seth stared hungrily at the multiple options laid out before him. "If only it were free...It'd be a werewolf's paradise...I'm starved."

Arielle gasped. "You know, since Alice isn't here to berate me, I think I'll go home and check on Paige. She must be hungry, and who's there to make sure she eats properly?"

"Carlisle has probably done that, Arielle." said Edward kindly.

Arielle nodded. "I miss my baby."

Edward's lips twitched up slightly. "Alice probably already saw you leaving. Better hurry up."

Arielle smiled her thanks, and was gone in an instant.

On the third floor of the mall, Edward and Seth were laden with packages of all sizes, refusing to let Bella carry anything for herself.

Bella was furious. "I'm not a child! I can handle a few bags!"

Edward smiled. "Could you let us spoil you? They are not that heavy at all."

"Exactly! That's why it's pointless to carry them for me."

"So you'd have us only carry the heavy stuff, Bella?" Seth said in affronted tones.

"That's not what I...Edward, your cell phone. Probably Arielle? It's been an hour, she should be home by now."

"It's in your purse."

"Right." Bella plunged her hand into her purse, whipping out the vibrating cell phone and flipping it open, not checking the number.

"...Alice? What do...What did you see? Third floor. You? Okay, yes, we'll meet outside, by the Dixon Street entrance." She snapped the phone shut. "We need to go. Now."

"What's up, Bella?" asked Seth.

"Not sure. Alice...had a vision, and I'm guessing it wasn't a good one."

It was frustrating to go so slow when their capabilites would allow them an inhuman speed.

Nevertheless, it took them barely two minutes to find Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice, waiting with both cars right outside the mall.

"Get in my car. Rosalie's is full of stuff and the boys." Alice said, looking directly at Edward. Her words were meant for the trio. They dumped their things in the back seat and got in without hesitation.

"What?" whispered Edward from the passenger's seat, staring at Alice. "Have you called Carlisle? Is Arielle home with her?"

Seth growled. "What's wrong with her?" he yelled, irritated by the restraining nature of the car. Paige was in danger, and he wasn't there.

Alice sighed. "Carlisle is on his way home. Arielle's in danger, too." Her little face stared at Bella in the mirror. "Preston's back. I didn't see it earlier because he didn't know what he wanted to do...He fantasizes about coming back all the time, so it's for even him to tell what his plans are..."

"Preston?" Seth asked, in a whisper. "The same…one...when...Leah?"

Nobody answered.

* * *

I puttered mindlessly around the kitchen, deciding it was in my best interests to eat something so my family would get off my back.

"My, how you've grown, _a ghra_"

I froze. The thick brogue of the man behind me was unfamiliar, but at the same time, after hearing my mother talk of him for so many years, I knew it belonged to my biological father. Acting braver than I felt, I spun on my heels, and faced him. Whatever I'd expected to see, it wasn't the handsome, youthful face that currently caught my eye. His dark hair swept back in a heavy wave, his skin was as white as the snow that lay on the ground outside. But it was neither of those things that kept my gaze fixated on his, and had me taking a frightened step backwards. His eyes were a shocking crimson red that betrayed no emotion. This man was a vampire. And I got the distinct impression he didn't live the way the rest of my family did.

"What do you want?" I finally managed to choke out.

"I'd have thought that rather obvious" His smile sent a shiver up my spine. "I wish for you to return to Italy with me. I want to get to know you, to love you. And I wish for you to become like me."

"I don't want to go with you. I want to stay here, in Forks, with my family" I stressed the last word as much as possibly, trying to impress upon him that he was not, nor would he ever be part of it. "And I want to stay human."

"You'd give up immortality, utter perfection, and beauty, for…what Paige?"

"For love. For happiness." I sighed. "I'm content with what I have."

"Aye lass, love. Well, bollocks to that. You can have both love and forever. Why give it up when you could have more?"

"I'm not settling!" I roared. The fear was gone, and now I was pissed off.

"Sure you are. I'll prove it." He snickered, and I suddenly found I was afraid again. It churned low in my stomach, I was glad I hadn't gotten around to eating. He ran an icy finger down my cheek, tore the shirt off my body. My mind rebelled, but I couldn't move.

"No words for me, daughter?" he muttered, before sending my body flying through the air.

I succumbed to the pain.

* * *

Arielle nudged the front door open with her toe, and immediately knew something was amiss. She cried out for her daughter, began a frantic search of the house. And then, she heard it. The deep laugh was sourced in the kitchen, but it rang throughout the whole house. Her feet reacted instinctively, carrying her to where they were. She threw herself between Preston and Paige, trying not to think about the fact that her daughters clothing had been reduced to rags.

He circled her viciously, like a predator, waiting to strike, saying nothing.

"What…what are you doing here?"

Preston smiled, his face haughty, teeth blaringly white. "Didn't you miss me?"

"No, I cannot say I did."

His hands were around her throat, restricting her airway. She struggled uselessly, kicking her legs at nothing, failing her arms about. His grip tightened, and he pressed his lips to the curve of her neck. She felt the pulse of the empty vein quicken with fear, felt her stomach tighten with disgust. Preston sank his incisors into her skin, let the venom paralyze her, let the pain envelope her body.

"Don't touch me." She whispered through gritted teeth. "Don't you fucking touch me."

"You jump in my way to save your daughter…but I'm not allowed to touch you? Now that doesn't seem fair."

"I hate you." She spat.

"Maybe so. But I'm going to have you, Arielle. And there's no one here to stop me. Just as though there was no one to stop me from taking Paige."

She froze again, the sickening feeling returned to her abdomen. Her eyes darted to where Paige lay, cast aside, unmoving.

"Did you know she wasn't a virgin? That she's a little whore, just like her mother?"

His fingers were like shackles around her thin wrists, she had no space left to move. The venom slid through her body, she writhed with pain.

"Your own daughter? How could you?" she cried out, words laced with pure disgust. "I've come to expect a lot of things from you…but not that."

He released one of her arms long enough for his own hand to connect with her cheek. "Don't speak to me like that." He re-pinned her to the wall, and used his razor sharp teeth to tear her shirt off her body. "You know better than that. Or perhaps your time with the good doctor has caused you to forget who your husband is."

"Carlisle is my husband."

"I was, am, and always will be." He closed his eyes, manipulating her. Gently, he released her wrists. Her mind fought against what he was having her do, but still her lips crashed to his. Roughly, he pulled the denim from her waist.

"Immortality has served you well, Arielle." He said softly with a cool smile, and trailed his finger down her torso. She shivered; his mere touch sent a chill down her spine. "You're sexy as ever"

He was willing her silent, and she struggled mentally against the muteness. Her eyes were wide with unvoiced terror.

Though she wondered, if he allowed her to fight, if she even would have bothered.


	15. When It Rains

Author's Note: Once again, thanks Lis.

* * *

From the corner of her eye, Arielle caught the flash of blonde hair, and hope leapt into her still heart.

"Carlisle" she whispered helplessly as her eyelids grew heavy, flickered shut.

The crash that ensued when the marble bodies of the men collided was deafening.

"You just won't learn" Preston gasped "to mind your own business. You really need to stay away from my family."

"The moment you laid a hand on Arielle, on Paige, they stopped being yours."

"And I suppose they belong to you now, eh?" Carlisle reeled his arm back, tossed a punch. Preston ducked, laughed manically. "The good, kind, vampire, saves human lives, protects the virtues of the innocent. Well, Arielle's no innocent. Tell me, does she scream when you fuck her, Carlisle? Do you two play rough?"

"She doesn't belong to anyone but herself." He spat.

Preston's aim was better, and his fist connected with the side of the blonde's face. "She is her own person. Yet, you needed to save her. She needed you to spring in and rescue her. Did you know, she wouldn't lift a hand to save herself? You arrived just in the nick of time. But did she need saving?" he asked, ducking another punch. "Wouldn't one conclude that she _wanted _me, if she did not fight back?"

Unparalleled rage shot through Carlisle, his sight went red with hatred. "You bastard. I will kill you."

"Funny, how even in an ageless state, you're an old man compared to me."

Carlisle's well practiced self control was slipping. Preston sprung off the ground, leaping for Carlisle's throat. Their strength seemed evenly matched as they rolled on the floor next to Arielle, who moaned. Her little acknowledgement of pain distracted Carlisle for one second, but a second too long. Preston had him pinned to the floor, at the edge of a knife. Paige was screaming in the background.

"I will make you hurt." Preston growled.

The door flung open so quickly and powerfully, it forced itself through the plaster of the wall, sending pieces flying onto the floor. The entire Cullen family plus Seth and Jacob sped into the room. Rosalie and Bella rushed to Paige. Alice and Jasper ran to Arielle. Preston had backed against the window, facing Seth, Jake, Edward, and Emmett.

"You killed Leah."

"Who?" asked Preston, feeling for the window.

"My sister!" Seth growled.

Emmett and Edward advanced.

"No!" shouted Seth. "He's mine!"

"Seth, if he hurts you...think of Paige…"

Preston grinned, connecting the pieces. "So you're the one who stole her innocence, are you? Seth?"

Seth faltered.

"I was disappointed when I realized I was only getting seconds. Ah well, I guess I deserve that, since I took your sister from you..."

Seth screamed and pounced, morphing into his wolf form.

Preston jumped out the window, glass shattered. It sprinkled itself around, lodging large pieces in the flesh of those nearby. Seth leapt after him, but was too big to fit through the frame. Edward took chase instead. But Preston had disappeared from his line of sight before his feet had even touched the ground. A light trace of him hung in the air, but with the wet of the snow, and the wind blowing in the opposite direction, the trail faded rapidly. . The Irishman had always been impossibly quick, even as a human. He'd perfected the art of escaping from dangerous situations, and this was no exception. Dejected, Edward was forced to turn around and return home.

A shard of the glass had sliced cleanly through Paige's leg, peppering everyone with a flash of blood. Arielle snarled, the growl rang low in her throat.

"Emmett, Jasper, take her outside." Carlisle ordered calmly. Holding their breath, they nodded in assent, dragged Arielle into the fresh air.

Aside from Carlisle, Bella was the only person who maintained her ability to breath normally. She was gently applying pressure to the fresh wound, and had removed her own shirt to use as a tourniquet.

"Her wrist is snapped" she whispered to Carlisle. "And she's loosing a lot of blood."

He nodded. "Hear that? Her heart is racing. It's working too hard. She's loosing too much." His attention snapped towards Seth. "In my study, on my desk, there is a black bag. I need it."

Seth didn't wait to be asked twice, he spun on his heels and ran.

Her eyes flew open for a moment, she shrieked wildly.

"What hurts Paige?" he asked softly. "Where did he hurt you?"

"The fire, Dad!" she screamed. "Stop the fire!"

Bella pulled back a loose shred of fabric, revealing what they hadn't seen before. When she finally managed to speak, her tone was filled with disgust.

"Carlisle, he bit her."


	16. It Pours

Author's Note: A double update. Well I feel productive. :) No one fall out of their seats now!

* * *

"There's multiple bite marks." He observed. "The venom's has had too much time to spread, and with the amount of blood she's already lost, if we tried to siphon out any more, she'd die. I have to let her change."

"It's not what she wants." Bella murmured.

"You think perhaps, she'd rather be dead?"

"No! But…I…" she snapped her mouth shut, apparently unable to find words.

"Look, I know it's not what she wanted, but I won't kill her. I absolutely refuse. Especially when there's another option."

Seth raced back in the room, tossed Carlisle the bag he'd requested. "Why aren't you working? Damn it, save her!" he bellowed.

The doctor frowned, drew together his brow. "I can't. When she got bit, the venom-"

"The son of a bitch bit her?" he interrupted.

"Yes. And the poison has flooded her system. If I tried to pump it out, she'd loose too much blood. More than I could replace with a transfusion. She'll be like us now. There's no other way." He sighed, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "Give me the morphine syringe from in that bag."

"No." It was Bella who uttered the dissent this time, Carlisle turned his focus on her, and she spoke quietly. "It won't help. The morphine, I mean. It will just paralyze her system, intensifying the pain a thousand fold. I lied to you before because I didn't want Edward to freak out over something he couldn't change."

"I wish you'd told me that sooner…before Arielle." He muttered, and Bella looked pained.

"There wasn't time. And I'm telling you now."

"I suppose then I'll just put her in her bed. At least she'll be comfortable when she wakes up…"

"What are you going to do if she awakens, and would have preferred death?" Rosalie asked, speaking finally.

"She won't" Bella responded confidently.

"Paige isn't you!" Rosalie spat. "She choose humanity!"

"Perhaps only because I indicated I'd prefer it." Seth admitted solemnly. "I told her once I wanted to grow old with her."

Bella waved him off, turned her attention back to her sister. "She isn't you either Rose. She can take whatever is thrown at her in stride. She'll handle it well."

"Will she?" Rosalie asked with a raised eyebrow. "Do you think she'll be able to handle the memory of being raped well? Can she survive eternity thinking about it?"

"I think she can. Her mother did. Still does, for that matter. For the most part, even you can repress it. And…" she paused for a moment. "I do." She added as an afterthought.

Rosalie found herself momentarily speechless. Bella had never spoken aloud of their last encounter with Preston, or of what might have taken place in the basement of their Oregon home.

"Bella, does Edward know?" Carlisle asked in an undertone, taking his eyes off Paige for a moment.

She laughed, shifted her own gaze to the doctor's worry filled face. "No. Because technically, nothing happened. It was a damn close call, but Jacob got there in time to stop it. Edward has a tendency to overreact."

"There's no overreacting to something like that. There's only instinct."

"If you tell him any of this, I'll kill you." She chided.

"He should know. He could help."

"I don't need help. And back to the matter at hand, neither will Paige. She'll come out of it all for the better."

"You're awfully sure of yourself" Rosalie scoffed.

"With good reason. She will understand why we did it. It was the only solution."

"Sometimes death is the preferable solution."

"No, it's the easy one." Carlisle whispered and nimbly lifted the finally still Paige into his arms. "Bella, could I trouble you once more to clean this up?" he gestured to the blood pooling on the kitchen floor.

She nodded and watched as Carlisle disappeared from the room, followed closely by Seth.

"Rosalie, could you get the bleach?" Bella asked timidly.

She nodded and darted for the cabinet beneath the sink. Bella took her free moment to look up, and found her eyes mating with Edwards.

"He got away." The simple response was all he had to offer, his eyes wide with sorrow. "Please tell me there's good news. Is Paige alright?"

"No." Rosalie admitted bitterly, surfacing with the bleach in her hands. "Preston bit her. She's becoming a vampire. Carlisle claims the venoms spread to far to stop it without killing her." She rolled her eyes, distain evident on her flawless face.

Edward mulled it over for a moment, watching their conversation replay in Rosalie's mind. "She'll be disappointed. But I believe that as long as she knows Seth will be there, she'll be okay."

"Spectacular. Her fate rests on the dog."

"Seth loves her, at a level beyond anything we could reason, past comprehension. It will be enough Rosalie. She will survive, and overcome."

* * *

Carlisle was hesitant to go, to leave Paige alone, but he knew there was nothing more he could do for her now. So leaving her in Seth's charge, he sought out the other person who needed him. Gracefully, he leapt out the window, ran into the woods where he knew Emmett and Jasper had taken Arielle. He heard them in the distance, arguing with her in a pathetic attempt to assure her she'd done nothing wrong, that what had happened in the house was natural, instinct.

"You can head inside now." He told his sons, and as they vanished took a step closer to his wife. She backed away slowly.

"Don't. Please don't come near me."

"Arielle…"

"I'm leaving Carlisle. I won't put her in danger again."

"The damage is done. And you couldn't have stopped anything that happened."

"But I'm supposed to protect her. Her father returns, and I'm not there to stop it. Then a little of her blood gets spilt, and suddenly, I'm the most dangerous thing in the room. I won't allow this to repeat itself."

"I can promise you, it won't" he sighed, hating to repeat the tale again. "Preston bit her, and the venom had a chance to spread. She'll be a vampire in a few days time. Virtual indestructibly."

"That's not what she wanted." Arielle sniffed, the straightened up. "But she's the type of person that will fight with it. Sure, she'll sulk for a few days, but she'll come out of it better. Not like me. Carlisle, I was a coward."

"No, not now, nor have you ever been a coward. After the hell he put you through, honestly I'd be surprised if you weren't afraid."

"I froze." She admitted. "There was a time once, that I would have fought him…or at least made some attempt to stop him."

"You stopped it for Paige." He reminded her, brushing a curl away from her eye.

"Too little, too late." She said sourly

"This is an argument I know I cannot win. So I will not try. However, I will say this. If you leave, it will break your daughter's heart. She needs you now, more than ever."

"Don't you understand?! He won't leave us alone until he has me again. Carlisle, don't make this harder than it has to be. I need to go…somewhere, anywhere that I can't put you and yours in danger."

"Ah. So you're being noble. I see. Because running will right all the wrongs. Everything will be better for it."

"It will protect you. And Paige. It's all I can do. And that's all that matters."

"So where does that leave me? Where does that leave us? If I asked…if I begged you not to go?"

"I'd still have to do it."

"Tell me you don't love me. That you don't want me anymore, and I won't stand in your way."

"I don't love you Carlisle." she whispered, and slid the ring off her finger, pressed it into his palm.

"Then I won't hinder you. But Arielle, know you're always welcome here, this is always your home." He drew her close, kissed her hard; putting everything he was feeling into the action. "Senza lei non sono niente."

She opened her mouth to say more, but decided against it and turned east, running as fast as light.


	17. In the End

I wasn't conscious of how much time had passed. I was aware I lay in my room, with Seth by my side. I caught wisps of conversations, and somehow my mind managed to put the pieces together. I realized what had happened, what I was becoming.

I could tell the end was near when I heard my heart racing. My body felt as though it was being stabbed with a white hot curling iron. The burning that had raced through my body for days now seemed to center itself over my heart.

And as rapidly as it had started, it was suddenly over, the fire was gone from my veins. I could open my eyes. The colors around me were brilliant, my vision was clearer than ever before.

I searched the room frantically, looking only for one person. I wanted to know she was okay. When I couldn't see her, I called out in anguish.

"Mom?!" I couldn't sense her anywhere. I closed my eyes and thought. Three heartbeats downstairs. Seth, Jacob, and Renessme, I surmised. Everyone else was crammed in my bedroom. Everyone except the one person I truly longed to speak to.

I looked at my father, knew he'd have the answer. And I watched as his face fell. For the first time in my life, I noticed that he held the distinct appearance of age about himself. His eyes were ebony black, his forehead creased. When he spoke, his voice dripped with angst.

"She left, Paige."

"Well, when is she coming back?"

No one answered me. Edward blew out a breath, he looked absolutely furious. And suddenly I understood what I had missed. She had left. And wasn't coming back. A single question burned in my mind, and though the look on Edwards face had me fearing to ask the new query, I did anyway.

"Wh…why?"

"She thinks…" Edward began, and rolled his eyes. "that if she remained here, her presence would put you in grave danger."

"What?!" I yelled at them, incredulous, desperately searching their faces for some hint of a lie, of a cruel misguided joke. I found none, and when I spoke again, it was with a reserved reluctance. "Well…that's the dumbest thing I ever heard." I held my hand in front of my face, waved it a few times. It moved impossibly fast. "I'm like you now. Nothing can hurt me anymore! Why didn't you stop her!" I was too angry to be upset. I directed a glare at my father, indicating the last question was for him alone.

"It wasn't my place. She wanted to go. Who was I to stand in her way?"

"But…how could she just…leave?"

"I don't think we should talk about this." Jasper announced decisively. "Not when there are more pressing matters at hand. You must be thirsty."

I thought about it for half a second. A dull ache was stinging my throat. But I decided I'd much rather have my questions answered.

"It's not too bad." I concluded, and drew their attention back. "Do you know where she went?"

Carlisle shrugged. I wanted to feel bad for him, but I was too hurt by my mother's actions, and too pissed at his, to be able to feel any compassion. When I realized he wasn't going to answer me, I shifted my focus to Alice.

"Did you _see_ anything?"

"She got on a plane to JFK two days ago."

This was a real shock. "What's in New York?"

"I don't know" she admitted. "I don't think she's staying there."

I pressed my fingers to my temples, took a deep breath. I could taste the air. It was thick, and saturated with the scents of everyone in the house. I'd smelled them before, but never had I been able to distinguish between them. The combination was suddenly an assault on my senses. An overload. But one in particular stood out above the others. And it was him I needed now.

"Can I see Seth?"

"Not until we know how you'll react." Edward said kindly. I pouted, earning myself a weak smile from the entire room. "I know it's not what you need to hear, but we can't take any chances. At least not until the thirst is in check."

I sighed. I knew it was controllable, that I ability to keep it manageable, just as I'd managed my hunger during the worst stages of my diets. Edward stepped closer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, he answered my thoughts.

"Yes, if anyone could keep an urge in check, it would be you. But do you really want to risk it?"

He was, of course right. I would never want to take a chance where the result would be hurting Seth. Though I'd never admit it aloud. Edward smirked.

"Carlisle, you should go with her."

"I don't want to hunt." He insisted. "And I'm needed at the hospital."

"It's a bad idea to lie to someone who can read your mind. And I can see in your eyes that you need to go."

Carlisle glared at him, said nothing. Rather, he turned on his heels and wandered away.

"I'll take her!" Alice volunteered cheerfully.

Edward scanned the room. I wondered what he was looking for, then he nodded.

"And I think I'll come myself." He turned to his wife. "Before I go, a word, Bella?"

She nodded, and followed her husband from the room. They were gone but a moment before returning. He immediately indicated I should follow him Alice out the window. I shook my head, laughing at their joke.

"Dude, that's gotta be like…sixty feet."

Bella chortled. "I'm pretty sure I reacted the same way. Don't worry, you're not nearly as klutzy as I was when I was human. So jumping out a window seemed like a suicide mission. And I survived just fine."

I thought about the near miss with the acid in chemistry. I wasn't so sure about her assumptions in regards to my clumsiness.

"Hey! Are you chicken or something!" Emmett chided behind me.

I knew it was a ruse, but none the less it worked. I charged through the open window, flew through the air, landed hard on my feet.

"That was fun!" I admitted laughing. "Can we do it again?"

"Later Paige, focus now."

I sighed again, but followed them blindly into the forest.

* * *

Bella was unsurprised to find Carlisle in his study. And it didn't shock her to see he'd engrossed himself in a thick medical tome. Though the door was open, she knocked anyway.

"Come in" came his meek reply, as he set aside the volume, folding down the corner of the page to mark his place. "What's on your mind?"

"I was more curious as to what's on yours…Honestly, I've never seen you like this."

"I've just been wondering. Questioning a lot of deep routed assumptions."

"Like what?"

"Second chances." He said simply. "And where forever ends."

Bella sat down in the chair across from Carlisle's desk, crossed one leg over the other.

"Do you think…you think she went back to Preston?" Bella realized with a start.

"I…I don't know. She gave no indication to that affect. And yet still, in my heart, it's what I feel."

"Carlisle, if you're feeling that way, there must be a reason behind it."

He shook his head. "I want to say I believe she'd never go back there. Even that she couldn't possibly be that stupid. But she looked me right in the eye and told me she didn't love me. So I don't know what to feel."

Bella swallowed. "Do you know, Edward said the same thing to me? For very much the same reason. It broke me, Carlisle. I couldn't function without him." She looked at him gently, trying to get a reading from his expression. "But everything happens for a reason."

"I used to be the biggest advocate of that. But it's hard to retain that line of thinking when you question your very existence."

"Go after her." She thought of Renessme, of everything she'd done to make that happen. "Sometimes we have to make our own happiness."

He shook his head, lifted his book again. "She'll return when she's ready. I won't force her to do something she doesn't want to." He opened it to the place he'd marked before, and Bella understood herself to be dismissed.

But as she walked from the room, she wondered just how much Arielle would be forced to do if indeed she did return to Preston.


	18. Grace

I expected the canopy of trees to envelope us in darkness. So when it didn't, when I discovered the extent of my newfound sight, I was astounded. It would follow then, that I would have been surprised to hear Edward inform me that we were going to jump over the river. But I wasn't. Rather, I simply found myself asking him, "How?"

However, it was Alice that answered me. "It's easy, silly. Just watch."

And she ran forward, leapt from bank to bank in a graceful jetè my mother would have been proud of. It hit me then, just how much I missed her. Ironically, she hadn't been the parent I'd gone to when I was in need of advice, nor had she been the adult I'd entrusted my secrets with. We fought constantly when I was a child. Carlisle always surmised it was because we were so similar.

"Too headstrong, the fire from your hair leaked into your brain." He'd said to me once with a wink. And the older I got, the more I began to agree with him. It wasn't until right in this instant that I realized just how much I had relied on her. My silent source of strength, proof I could survive, and overcome. I wanted her home.

Instead, I was forced to shake the thought from my mind. I took a few steps backwards, started my run, and Alice snickered. Abruptly, I stopped, skidded, and promptly fell in the river.

My hair clung, wet and stringy to my face, I could almost hear the curls as they frizzed. The tee-shirt someone had dressed me in during my transformation stuck to my frame, leaving nothing to the imagination of those around me.

"Tell me you saw that coming." I asked her through gritted teeth as I dragged myself out of the water. I scowled, and looked down to make sure I hadn't left any clothing floating in the stream. Again, I found I was stunned. My hair was much lighter then it had once been, and could almost be called blonde now. It was hard to tell exactly what it looked like, as it was soaking, but even my face held distinct differences from before. The edges that I'd hardened with my steadfast dieting were soft, slightly rounded. And of course, the eyes. A crimson red.

Edward was clutching his side, shaking with silent laughter.

"I did" Alice admitted. "But I didn't realize it would be my fault."

They stopped laughing when I shot them a death glare. "Can we please do this, so I can see Seth?"

"Okay. Close your eyes." He ordered; I obliged him easily, flickering my lids shut. "Good. Now, tell me what you smell."

I wrinkled my nose, inhaled deeply. Sensory overload, major. "A squirrel in the tree above us," I wondered how my brain knew all this all of a sudden. "And…a deer, two hundred feet to our left?" I asked him slowly, unsure of myself.

"Very good." He confirmed. "Now, it's heading in this direction. So, are you ready to test your luck?"

I shook my head, paralyzed with a certain amount of fear at being asked to perform so quickly.

"Maybe…maybe if I watched first?"

"Just trust your instincts," Edward prodded "you'll be fine."

I took another deep breath. My instincts were telling me to use the tree as cover, and spring out onto the unsuspecting animal. I did so, ducking behind the thick wooden bark. Edward followed me, and then I heard him utter an oath.

"Paige?" he hissed. "Where are you?"

I looked around. I was standing right in front of him, my back pressed into the tree. I felt the urge to roll my eyes, for I couldn't understand why he was acting like such an idiot. Was this his idea of a joke? Because it wasn't very funny. "I'm right here!" I shouted, exasperated, and waved my hands back and forth in front of his face. "See?"

He grabbed my wrist, pulled my body towards his. "Now, I can see. Do it again."

"Do what again?"

"The invisibility thing! You literally camouflaged with that tree!"

I was completely perplexed now. "What in god's name are you talking about?"

"It was the strangest thing I've ever seen - And I've seen some pretty strange things before- You thought you needed to blend with the tree…so you did. It was only when you moved your hand that I could see you."

Alice was smiling widely. "That's got to be the coolest power I've ever seen."

I stepped back, and convinced myself that I needed cover again. I couldn't feel a difference in the way my body was behaving, but when I looked down, I could see a definite difference in my feet. Instead of the black shoes that had been there moments before, now all I could see was the white of the snow covered ground.

"Holy fucking shit, dude."

"I can see you," Edward muttered "now that I know where to look."

I stepped forward, realized I could see my feet normally again. "So…I'm like a chameleon?"

He chucked. "I do believe that would be the closest comparison."

I opened my mouth to say more, but the wind chose that particular moment to shift northwest. My keen sense of smell caught the trail immediately; the wave of human blood that rode in with the wind was sweeter than anything I'd ever smelled. A hundred times better than the deer, a thousand times better than the squirrel. I knew without asking that this was the smell of human blood. And whomever it was coming from was very close by.

Alice and Edward looked poised to jump. I put the pieces together suddenly. They too had caught the smell, and were getting prepared to prevent me from hunting the humans. I thought for a moment- I was truly amazed at how much information my brain could process in such a short amount of time- I thought of my father, and how disappointed he'd be if I messed up. So, then and there, I decided that to me, human blood was like a calorie loaded piece of cake. And I wasn't going to allow myself to indulge.

"I won't go after them" I assured my aunt and uncle.

They both had already backed off. Edward was laughing again; Alice had leaned against the tree, her arms folded over her chest.

"I know it." She said with a crooked smile.

Edward looked at me like I had three heads. "Your thought process is the most convoluted thing I've ever heard." He gasped, still trying to suppress the laughter.

"It worked, didn't it?" I defended myself.

"Indeed." He agreed. "It's just quite strange to imagine humans as… well as something like calories. The mind of an anorexic vampire is a disconcerting thing." He mused.

I rested my hands on my hips, thrusted my tongue outwards. "Let's just get this over with so I can get home and see Seth…"

* * *

"She's handling everything just fine…" Bella taunted.

"Yes, yes. We're all reveling in the fact that you were correct for once." Rosalie spat.

"I'm just trying to say, I think you're making too big a deal out of this."

"Am I? Really Bella? We took the choice away from her. I think that's the epitome of a big deal."

Bella sighed, resigned herself to the fact that Rosalie wasn't going to give up easily. Emmett had placed a reassuring hand on his wife's shoulder, in a vain attempt at calming her down.

"Rose," Jasper interrupted, "not that the point you're trying to make is inconsequential, but we do have more pressing matters to attend to. Paige is fine."

"What we really need to figure out," Seth whispered, "is what to do about Carlisle…"

"It breaks my heart to see him like this." Bella muttered. "Mostly, because I've been there. I know exactly what he's feeling, and I know there's almost nothing that can stop it."

"I resent that!" Jacob yelled. "When we would hang out, you always seemed better."

"Better." She agreed. "But not perfect."

"It's something…" Jake argued.

"By the way, that's just plain weird." Renessme interjected.

"What is?" he asked her sweetly

"The fact that you had a crush on my mom. It's creepy, Jake."

He laughed. "Ness, I only have eyes for you now."

Bella mimed gagging, and turned the subject back. "I still don't know how to even make this better…"

Silence ensued. No one was sure where to begin.

* * *

I could tell that when Edward, Alice, and I burst in, all thoughts were lost.

"Why, in the name of all that's holy, are you soaking wet?" Seth demanded to know.

I bit down on my lip, looked abashed. "I fell in the river."

The memory of it had Edward and Alice rolling with laughter.

"How…the hell?" He brushed his hair back. "No, wait, forget it. I don't want to know.

I looked to Edward, then to Alice for some form of reassurance about what I was supposed to do. Together, they nodded, and I raced forward, collected Seth in my arms.

"You're a dumbass." I whispered. Having him so close to me wasn't nearly as painful as I'd imagined it would be. He didn't smell as he'd used to. Rather, he smelled closer to a dog. But to me at least, it was in a good way. Like the clean scent of a new puppy running around.

He grinned, a flash of brilliant white teeth against dark skin. "I've embraced it."

I kissed him then, not really considering what I was doing, though I was careful not to let myself go too far. I was conscious of the venom flowing through my teeth. And to my surprise again, I found that it didn't hurt, that it simply felt right. I felt his hands grab my arms, tighten the embrace.

Someone behind us cleared their throat. For the first time, I was glad I couldn't blush. Although I knew the embarrassment was still evident on my face, I turned around. "Sorry." I muttered.

Bella laughed. "We understand."

Edward joined his wife, running a hand through her hair. "What did we miss while we were gone?" he asked her softly.

"Like you don't know." Jacob chided.

"Ah. Carlisle. Yes. I've been thinking about that."

"You have?" Rosalie asked incredulous.

"Of course." He responded easily. "I hate seeing him like this."

"Well…what can we do about it?"

"I think…perhaps, Paige is the answer."

I choked on my next breath. "Me? But what can I do?"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out…"

I wrinkled my nose. I hated being put on the spot. I was grateful when Alice interrupted. "Oh! Bella, you have to see this." she chimed in, and turned to me. I knew I'd be expected to do my chameleon thing again. It was cool at first. Now it was just getting annoying. "Wait." She called out "Carlisle, come down here!"

Somewhat impatiently, I waited for my father to descend the stairs and join us. Alice nodded, giving me the go ahead. I backed against the wall, convincing myself that I wanted to disappear. Which wasn't that hard. My previous embarrassment, coupled with my frustration at being asked to demonstrate my power again, made a desire to be gone from the family room quite easy to find. I faded into the white of the wall, my feet into the brown of the wooden floor.

It was Emmett that spoke first. "So unbelievably awesome…"

I hesitated another beat before stepping forward, and turned my attention to the one person whose opinion truly mattered to me. Carlisle's expression was impossible to read. He'd cupped his chin in his hands, a crease formed in his brow, he looked quite pensive. Apprehensively, I waited. But while I did, I noticed that some of the everlasting depression had vanished from his black eyes, it was replaced with a trace of the sparkle that had always been there before. It was curiosity that drove him.

"Intriguing." Carlisle admitted, finally speaking. "I would surmise that it's tied to you're ability to blend seamlessly with a variety of people. Vampires, werewolves, humans. Like I told you before, you fit in everywhere."

"Why is it that you're always right?"

The corners of his mouth tipped upwards, in the first attempt at a smile I'd seen him make since my mother left. "When you're as old as I am, it's hard to be wrong…"

I turned to Seth, and didn't need to voice the things running through my mind. He simply nodded, saying "Go."

I moved to my father, draped an arm around his shoulder. "Well, come on then, old man. There's a grizzly in those mountains with your name on it."

His eyes narrowed playfully. "You're on little one."


	19. Too Much

Author's Note: Once again...Allison, and Rose. I couldn't have done it without you.

* * *

"So, you managed to lure me out here alone. Let's have it then." Carlisle murmured.

I feigned innocence, continued to walk forwards. "What do you mean?"

"How do you intend on cheering me up?"

"Well, I'll admit, they had some crazy idea that I could, but honestly, I don't see how that would even be possible."

"You miss her as much as I do." He observed quietly

"Of course. You shouldn't think you're alone here."

"I don't think…" he started to say, my eyebrows shot up, and he laughed. It was nice to see him smile. "Okay, I guess I did think that. But it was wrong."

I glanced at his hands. The silver wedding band still encircled his fourth finger, and my mothers, I noticed, he'd placed on a chain around his neck.

"We all handle things differently. I got pissed off. You chose to sulk."

"I don't know if sulk is an appropriate word choice…" he inhaled, and caught the scent of a nearby deer. Crouching low, he poised to attack.

I allowed him a moment to stalk and catch his prey, before speaking. ""Brood, mope, pine…call it what you'd like. You're obviously suffering…I think you characterized it to the highest level. But you need to know…" I stopped, unsure of my next words.

"I need to know what, Paige?"

"You need to know she loves you." I held out a hand to prevent his protests. I had said it, now I was going to finish. "I don't care what she told you before she left. When I would see the two of you together, there was something in her eyes… they would light up whenever you were around." I placed my hand on his shoulder. His skin no longer felt cold to my touch.  
He clasped his hand over mine, smiling feebly.

"You're all I have left," he mumbled, so faintly that I was barely sure I had even heard.

"That's not true. There's so much here."

"I've had it all. And lost it. Twice."

Twice? What in the hell was he talking about. I knew that if I asked, it would bring up unnecessary painful memories. But I was perplexed, and intrigued. I suppose it showed on my face, for the query was unnecessary. He began to explain, without further prompting from me.

"I was married before Arielle. Before your mother."

Hearing that was like being slapped in the face. I couldn't picture Carlisle with anyone but my mother, just as I couldn't see myself with anyone but Seth. He continued to speak, the memory weighing heavy on his mind.

"In many ways, they were polar opposites. Esme was a patron of virtue. She'd insisted on marriage before sex. But when she gave herself to someone, it was complete. Her ability to love held no bounds. She was soft, kind, and broken. When I found her, when I changed her, it was because she'd tried to kill herself. Her only child had just died, and she was on the run from an abusive husband."

I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"They took her right to the morgue. But I knew she still had a heartbeat. And I'd treated her, years before, when she'd fallen out of a tree and broken her leg. She'd been so vivacious then, and so full of life. I knew that if I gave her a second chance at life, she'd come back from whatever had driven her to end herself. It took a great deal of time, but time was the one thing we had. She grew to trust me, and love me, as I did her."

If I had been able, I'm sure I would have been crying. "So…what happened?" I whispered, enthralled by the despairing tale.

"Edward fell in love with Bella. And Bella was human. A series of complicated events ensued, and I shall not delve into them now. But led us to a point where we were forced to battle an army of bloodthirsty newborn vampires. She was killed. I blamed myself. I still do."

"Dad…"

"So I suppose I sulked then too." He smiled again, softly. "But…I found Arielle. Bleeding, near dead in a London alley. I felt compelled to save her life, to protect her from whatever was torturing her. And she saved me, as much as I did her. We pulled each other up, refused to let the anguish take us. There was a fire there, little one. The likes of which I'd never felt. I thought we'd be okay. Though I suppose she was always a little broken bellow the surface, and I just couldn't see it. I'm out of chances now. My affinity for trying to save, trying to love the bruised and broken has caught up with me."

"Has it?" I found myself whispering. "And what about me? Are you done trying to save me?"

"As long as you feel you need me, I'll be here. I haven't given up on what I've started."

"And Arielle? She still needs you. Regardless of whether or not you can see it. Have you given up on her?" With that being said, I turned on my heel, and walked away.

* * *

"Edward?" Seth said, molding his voice into what he hoped was a casual tone. "Can I have a moment?"

Edward nodded, following Seth out of the house and down the long, narrow drive; leaving the family to talk about Arielle's departure and it's effect on Carlisle and Paige.

Once they reached an assuredly private distance, Seth turned to Edward with a certain sadness in his eyes that Edward had only seen once before, approximately ten years ago.

The vampire searched the wolf's mind for the answer. The answer was a question.

"Edward." he said, "Was she really...Did he actually...Was…she.." Because Seth was unable to finish the sentence aloud, his mind, however reluctantly, finished for him... _raped?_

Edward shuddered, first because of the disgusting implications, and then because he imagined being in Seth's position. The fire he felt the night he saved Bella in Port Angeles ripped through him for a moment, before he remembered to focus.

"Why do you," he hesitated, "_want _to know? Will it change your opinion of her? Will you think less of her for it?!" he growled.

"If she needs help, I can give it to her best. I need to know everything."

Edward deliberated for half a second. "To be perfectly honest with you, Seth, I can't tell you. Her short human life is so shrouded by her, er, _new _state of being. The only thing I can assure you of is that she does not remember it. Whether that is a product of post-traumatic stress, changing into a vampire, or because it never happened, I have no insight to."

Seth took a breath. "Okay."

"I'm sorry, Seth." Edward sighed, apologetically. "If I could see..."

"It's okay. It's better that she doesn't remember. I don't want the memories haunting us. We have some good days coming up, and I can't have them ruined by that bastard."

Edward's eyebrow arched in momentary confusion, then, seeing the vision that slipped its way across Seth's mind, comprehension dawned.

"You plan to propose."

"I do." He answered honestly, though he knew it wasn't a question. "You, you don't think it's too soon?"

"As I've told you before, she is yours, and you hers. You'll spend together forever. It pleases me to see you taking the virtuous step. It's a mature decision Seth. I'm proud of you."

Seth smiled awkwardly, and jammed his hands in his pockets. "Well, thanks…do you think maybe…we should get back?"

"I believe they are waiting for us." He agreed, and they turned together and headed back towards the house.


	20. Waking Up

Author's Note: Yes, I quoted New Moon, and Romeo and Juliet. Neither of which belong to me. And also, thanks to Allison. Again. Because i can't seem to write anything without her help lately.

* * *

Time stands still for no one. It moves forward, even when it feels like with every second that passes an icy wind is rips though you. Even when it feels like the very act of breathing is like swallowing glass. It passes slowly, in fragments, frozen instants, and dragging moments.

_But pass it does. Even for me. _

And even for Carlisle. We returned from our hunting trip- since that fateful afternoon where I'd stormed out on him, I was the only one he'd go with - to find the rest of the family watching the television. It was late, but when you didn't sleep, the hours of the day held no particular meaning.

Then I heard her.

My stomach churned uncomfortably at the sound of my mother's voice. Was she home? I ran into the family room, eyes flying frantically around the room in search of the familiar flaming red hair. I found it, and felt resounding disappointment. They were watching home videos. This particular one was of my 12th birthday. I heard my own voice echo from the TV, a laugh I hadn't uttered in weeks. No one looked up as I entered, save for Edward and Seth. Edward looked as though he could cry. He withdrew his arm from around Bella's shoulder, and took Renessme off of his lap. He strode toward me, leading me out of the room.

"I'm sorry, Paige. You walked in at the wrong time."

I blinked, confused.

"You thought Arielle came back."

_Oh. _"Edward, that's me being silly, it's not your fault."

He still looked pained. "I think you should go spend time with Seth. It's not been happening nearly enough lately. You know it makes him edgy to be away from you. Why don't you take a walk with him?"

"That's...a good idea." I nodded, acknowledging my own burning need for Seth. A need much stronger than any thirst for blood.

Edward smiled, and pulled me into a tight embrace. I was slightly taken aback; he usually saved his hugs for Bella.

"What's the occasion?" I mumbled.

He wordlessly let me go, his smile never faltering.

"Wacko." I teased, walking back to Seth.

Seth was up and in the doorway before I even got to the room. I suppose he'd heard me coming, even with my light vampire footsteps.

"Madam." Seth said, bowing.

I giggled. My family was always so proper, save Jacob, and Seth was usually the comic relief. Somehow, he made their serious, antique demeanor the funniest thing in the world. I took his hand. He was burning hot and I, icy cold, but neither of us flinched away.

Though I had just come from outside, the night seemed brighter when I was with Seth. The snows of winter had long melted away. I surmised that I had spent more time in bed than I had realized. Even Christmas was a subtle event this year, because it was also a painful reminder of my runaway mother. Seth smiled at me, squeezing my hand. The weather was just perfect. The smells on the air were sweet and fresh. It was finally spring. The season of new life. It seemed fitting for mine and Seth's first walk since my becoming a vampire.

We didn't talk too much, but a question bubbled to the surface of my mind when I realized that this was not an aimless walk. Seth's feet were sure of their path. "Where are we going?" I asked.

Seth grinned, put his hands around my waist and twirled me in the air. I was no longer the breakable little girl I used to be, but it still felt exhilarating.

He set me back on the ground, a smile curving at the corners of his mouth.

".Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear  
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops--"

I wanted to laugh. Seth, my Seth was quoting Shakespeare. _Okay_. I thought to myself, _I'll play along_, and I recited Juliet's line.

"O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,  
That monthly changes in her circled orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable"

He pulled up his sleeve, looked at his forearm, where he'd written his next line in indelible ink. "What shall I swear by?"

I giggled, wondering where he could possibly be going with this.

"Do not swear at all;  
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,  
Which is the god of my idolatry,  
And I'll believe thee."

He knelt then, his black eyes focused on me, moonlight dancing across his face in ribbons. "I love you, Paige. I swear it." He reached into his pocket, produced a spectacular ring. I felt my next breath catch in my throat. "Marry me."

I didn't even have to consider my answer. It came in a rush, a breathless, "Yes."

* * *

Carlisle considered bypassing his family, ignoring the lot of them and heading into his study to immerse himself in the latest book he'd begun. But they'd seen him, and he could tell simply from the look on Edwards face that his plan of escape simply wouldn't fly tonight.

So instead, he took Seth's vacated place on the floor, turned his attention to the movie. He watched himself scoop the tiny Paige – still with flaming red hair, piercing jade green eyes – into his arms. She giggled maniacally waving the book she'd just been given in the air. It seemed a lifetime ago. Arielle behind her, a spatula in her hand, a smudge of chocolate slashed across her perfect face. Hope flickered in her eyes.

"Do you remember what we gave her that year?" Edward whispered, shutting off the screen.

"Of course." I muttered. "A copy of Romeo and Juliet, among other things. Although I insisted it would be too hard for her."

"But it wasn't." Edward reminded him. "She read the whole thing in one night."

"I still doubt if she understood half of it…and why, all of a sudden are we bringing this up?"

"She did eventually. It became her favorite book."

"It did." He conceded. "But I still don't see why-"

"Seth is planning on using Romeo and Juliet to propose."

Carlisle's face brightened a little. "When?"

"Now." Bella said simply.

Carlisle looked thrilled. "She'll be happy with him. He'll make her happy."

Jacob grunted. "I don't understand why the _baby_ is allowed to marry before me…"

Edward snarled. "We've been through this before. Renessme is only 12, not 18 as she pretends to be. She grew a lot in those first two years, and then it tapered off a little. You know damn well that's why she can act the age she does. And you know it was all for Paige's benefit."

Jake wrinkled his nose, and looked to Bella for help. Adamantly, she crossed her arms over her chest. He opened his mouth to argue more, but was interrupted by a loud cry of shock from Alice.

"What do you see?" Jasper asked her concerned by her lack of speech. When she didn't say anything more, the focus turned to Edward, who looked outraged.

"It's Arielle." He finally said. "She's going to Voltura. And her entire future just disappeared."


	21. About You Now

Author's Note: Last Chapter. But as per usual, there will be an epliogue. yay. and again, thanks Allison. Couldn't have done it without you.

* * *

At first, Carlisle said nothing, as though he'd expected this eventually. Finally, he rose slowly to his feet. "We have to stop her. I have to stop her." He whispered, anguish dripping with every word he spoke, and with the ones he'd left unsaid.

Alice stood, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You can't." she muttered "If you go, your future disappears as well…Carlisle, you can't. Don't do that to Paige."

"Or us," Bella added in an undertone.

"You would have me sit idly knowing her life is in danger?"

"It's already done." Edward said bitterly. "And I have a feeling that this has been her plan all along. She knows exactly how Alice's visions work, and did everything in her power to circumvent them until it was too late. Even I sensed nothing in her thoughts. She hid her thoughts and intentions. Until you could no longer come to the rescue."

"Why?" Carlisle asked helplessly. "Why would she do that?"

"Bella complex." said Alice, ignoring her psuedo-brother's glare.

"Because she loves you." Bella murmured, also glaring at Alice. Rosalie scoffed. "Because despite everything she said, she took all the precautions to make sure you wouldn't get hurt."

"This is what she wanted, then." He spoke slowly in a desperate attempt to convince himself that the words he was speaking were true.

Edward swallowed. "I believe," slowly unclenching his fists, "As absurd as it sounds, it _is_ what she wanted."

Carlisle sank back into the couch. "I…I can't just stand by and let it happen." He looked fiercely at Bella. "We have to create our own fate sometimes…no?"

"I didn't…that's not what I meant! Carlisle, for god's sake, don't get yourself killed!"

He ignored her, turned his focus back to Alice. "How long do I have?"

"Within the month. I cannot say with definite certainty."

"Then there's time! I'll cut her off before she gets there!"

"It won't work." Alice sighed, "I have no idea where she is right now, or how she plans on getting to Voltura. I've seen only two endings. Her...alone... and now that you've decided to go after her, both of you."

"How can you be so selfish?!" Rosalie shouted. "How can you even consider leaving? Marching blindly towards your death, when your daughter is so fresh to a life she never wanted?"

Carlisle opened his mouth to make an argument but was interrupted by Edward. "Later. Paige and Seth are returning now."

* * *

I was elated. It seemed to me that nothing could ruin this moment. We crossed the threshold into my home, fingers linked. There was silence, a football game was running on the television, I couldn't tell who was winning, and it didn't matter to me.

"Seth and I are engaged." I announced to the room, not wasting a second.

To my surprise, their smiles looked forced. I knew they must have known already, for Edward's earlier hug made perfect sense now. But I couldn't understand why they wouldn't be happy for me. Did they think us too young? Perhaps. The same thought had crossed my mind. But when you had forever, age was but a number.

"Congratulations!" Bella said finally, and stood to embrace me. The hug felt genuine. Maybe I was just being oversensitive. I looked past her, into my fathers eyes.

Turmoil rolled there. My first instincts were right. Something was wrong, though I was no longer certain it had anything to do with me. I stepped away from my aunt, and met my father's gaze.

"What's going on, Carlisle?" It wasn't a question, so much as an imperative statement. I was demanding to know.

"I'm leaving." He said simply. "I'm going after your mother."

"Good." I responded, not knowing what else to say.

"You don't understand." Rosalie whispered, glancing menacingly at my father, "His going after her means his death."

"No!" I cried out, outraged that he could even think it. My mind reeled with this statement. I had just lost my mother; I could not handle losing Carlisle as well, even with Seth by my side. I knew his love for her ran deep, but did the rest of us count for nothing? How could he consider going towards his end? I couldn't fathom an end for him. He was so good and pure...a world without him seemed dark and scary. He was the glue that held us all together in such harmony.

"If I don't, it means her death as well." He said voice flat.

I faltered. "She…she went back to Preston." Another blow to my mental state.

"Yes." He admitted, clearly pleased I understood so quickly.

"I'll go with you."

His head snapped up, a new fire burning in his eyes. "I won't allow you to doom yourself as well."

"Yet its okay for you to rid the world of the kindest person it's ever seen? It's alright for you to take everything I've ever known away from me? Really?"

"Paige, you must know that's not my intention." He sounded wounded.

"All I know," I started to say; my voice cold and unearthly, "Is that you intend on leaving- chasing after something you know will get you killed. And I know I won't be able to stop you. So I'm going to ask, no, I'm going to beg, you to stay for my wedding."

Carlisle swallowed hard, clearly torn between my pathetic attempts to persuade him, and what his heart was begging him to do.

"Dad. I love her as much as you do. It'll be Saturday. Emmett can perform the ceremony?" I looked towards Emmett, who nodded his approval. "And we'll go Sunday. I won't let you do this alone."

The dissent came from Seth this time. "You're not going anywhere. I don't care how indestructible you are. You're not going."

The mere thought of being separated from Seth ripped though me then. He'd have to come. We'd stand a better chance with him there anyway. Could I ask that of him?

Bella opened her mouth, only to have it covered by Edward.

"Don't even _think _about it, love." He said.

My quick vampire mind marveled for a second at how well Edward knew her. Apparently, it didn't matter if she had a silent mind.

"Don't worry, Bella. She's not going. Not without me, anyway." Seth said.

My heart leapt. I didn't even have to ask. Was it possible to love him more?

"Then I can't _see_ at all!" Alice complained.

"Maybe its better that way." Carlisle commented "No defined outcome." He looked pensive for a moment. "I can't believe I could ever even consider putting you in this kind of danger. But as much as I hate to admit it, you deserve to be there as much as I do."

I smiled, sensing his weakness. "I do. And we'll handle this together, whatever may come." My final words were chosen carefully. They would seal the deal for Carlisle. "As a family."


	22. Epilogue

Author's Note: Here it is. The end of the second tale. But never fear, I've already started on the 3rd one. :). Please review.

* * *

From the time I was a small child, I'd always had a vision of what my wedding would look like. A long white dress, the scent of flowers drifting through the air, music flowing freely. A huge party, with friends, family and cake. Something straight out of a movie. Until the moment I met Seth, the face next to mine had always been blank, a space waiting to be filled.

Now, I fiddled with the ring he'd slid on my finger hours earlier. I'd married him wearing jeans – I wasn't even sure they were clean ones at that – and it honestly didn't matter. I was happy, in this moment. The words he'd spoken to me earlier, ones he'd written himself, reverberated in my mind.

"_I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.  
I promise to accept you the way you are. _

_I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities, and outlook on life that you have, and won't try to reshape you in a different image.  
I promise to respect you as a person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. _

_I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my personal world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. _

_I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting. _

_And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how ... completely and forever."_

A laundry list of things he was offering me, and asking nothing in return. The words I'd offered as a response seemed pallid in comparison to what he'd just said, to what he'd just given. But I spoke them anyway, for I had no time to revise my thoughts. And Carlisle had advised me to speak my mind. I intended on it.

"_Many people spend their lives searching for their soul-mate, their one true love. Some people are lucky to find the person they can truly call the better half of themselves, while others spend the rest of their lives searching and never finding. I am happy to count myself among the lucky ones, because I certainly found you."_

I like to imagine my words had an impact on him. That they meant as much to him as I hoped they would, as my dream had dictated. But this wedding was far from what I'd imagined. There was music and dancing, not as I'd pictured, but in my mind, it was perfect, just the same. Even my father put on a happy façade, seeming genuinely pleased to see me so elated.

A warm arm encircled my waist now, and I didn't have to look twice to know who it was. His touch was a second nature to me now.

"Want to get out of here?" he whispered seductively, his breath hot in my ear.

I turned to face him, he still dwarfed me in sheer height, his presence still continued to be unassuming and quietly graceful. "I'm worried about this." I admitted softly.

"What exactly are you worried about love?"

I sighed. "Hurting you…the fact that with very little effort, I could, in fact, kill you."

"Emmett reckons I should handcuff you." Seth joked. "He claims it will be fun, and safe that way."

"Fun, for who exactly?" I quipped, and despite myself, I smiled.

"Carlisle has faith in you." He said quietly "And I do as well."

That was enough for me. I linked fingers with him, following him into my own bedroom. Emmett smirked as we walked past, my father only smiled warmly. I mouthed him a thank you, before continuing onwards.

He locked the door behind us. Not that, in the event one of my family members wanted to get into my room, a deadbolt would stop them, but the thought of privacy was there. And it made me smile.

"I love you."

My still heart felt as though it skidded at the three simple words spoken quietly, roughly, as if they needed to be said, fighting their way out of his mouth. Before I knew what I was doing, I held out my arms to him.

Then we were pressed together, mouth to mouth. The hunger we'd resisted so long was raw, unbelievably strong. It was a devouring kiss – long, desperate, deep. I clung to the wildness of it.

I felt his hand tighten its grip on my hair, pulling my head back as if in a fury. His mouth left mine only to change angles, probe deeper. There was a hint of brutality, as if he could assuage all his needs through a single kiss.

"I want you." It wasn't a statement, so much as a groan from a well within as he drew me away. His eyes were dark and burning. "God, too much."

I gripped the front of the sweater he was wearing until my fingers hurt, the fabric tore, and I was too consumed to care. "Not too much" I whispered.

My throat was dry with the pounding of his heart, but I knew I was completely in control of my thirst, in command of the animal instincts that ruled most of my kind. We were only silhouettes as we stood, inches apart in the darkness.

Slowly, hardly conscious of my actions, I reached up, drew my tee-shirt over my head, let my jeans fall off my hips, let them slide soundlessly to the floor, leaving me near naked.

I felt my stomach suck in as his fingers glided over it, as I fumbled with the snap on his jeans.

"Take me now Seth, I'll go mad if you don't"

He was on top of me, I could hear his hearts desperate race, his ragged breath against my ear. He was trembling, I realized. I let my body take over, knowing its own needs, while my mind shuddered with the onslaught of sensations.

I opened for him, and he entered me slowly, took me as though we had a lifetime to savor the ultimate pleasure.

Seconds, minutes, hours, we were joined until we both were wild with need. With his mouth still fastened on mine, he took us to the climax.

Drained, I lay against him; my head nestled on his chest. He stroked my hair now and then, winding the ends around his fingers. There was no light through the windows. The room was dark, warm, and silent.

Despite all odds, we'd made it work. And I had complete faith now, in whatever may come tomorrow. We would survive, and we would overcome.


	23. Author's Note

Just so everyone who has me on alert is aware, the sequel is posted, "Solar Flares"

Please check it out!


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